We understand that you're struggling with self-control, sexual fantasies, and feelings of desperation. First, we want to remind you that God is always there for you, and He is ready to forgive you if you ask and turn from your actions. As well as to be willing to change direction and stop doing what you desire and are asking for help with. 1 John 1:9 (WEB) says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." True repentance is more than just feeling sorry, it is turning around and going the other way. When the woman was caught in adultery in the act, Jesus did not condemn her but told her to go and sin no more, because He forgave her. She would have had to turn from that sin and leave her old life behind. Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (WEB).
It's clear that you're feeling trapped in a cycle of sin, but remember, God provides a way out, not an excuse to continue if our job is not stable. No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (WEB).
Marriage is a blessed institution ordained by God, but it should not be seen as a solution to sexual immorality and fantasies. It is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who both need to be willing and ready to be a spouse to each other. Marriage is not a solution to your fantasy problems. Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 (WEB). Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (WEB).
Instead of looking for a wife before you are able to provide as a husband should, focus on growing in your relationship with Christ knowing that He will guide you and direct your paths. We must each live our own lives and not live for our desires or what we think we cannot live without. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (WEB).
Let's pray together:
"Dear Jesus, we come before You, asking for forgiveness for the struggles with self-control and sexual fantasies. We pray that You will strengthen us and help us to resist temptation. Help us to turn from these sins and live in purity, trusting in Your guidance and provision. If marriage is in Your will, we trust that You will make a way and provide all that is needed. Help us to be obedient and live for you. Help us to be willing to live for you no matter what our needs and desires are. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Remember, God's grace is sufficient for you, and His power is made perfect in weakness. Trust in Him, and He will guide you through this struggle as He has done and still is doing with us. We live in a time when sexual impurity is encouraged and promoted at every corner. We need to avoid situations and thoughts that can lead us down these paths and focus on Jesus.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You. Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
