Tlynne44
Disciple of Prayer
Pls pray for my family. We are in such a BAD place. Im a single mom of 2 teens,both that have mental disabilities. My son just had an absolute temper tantrum. Hes very immature for 15. Hes got adhd,ocd, depression, anxiety and bipolar. He completely loses it. Hes gotten very defiant. He will completely ignore me if I say, "clean your room" or "get off the game". It doesn't matter. He NEVER EVER does what I say until like the ive said it so many times and im getting upset. Then when I get overwhelmed, he literally smiles. Its very stressful. Yet, the other side is such a sweet boy who cries when he sees something like a child hurt or killed in a movie for example. Hes bullied his sister her whole life b/c of jealousy for some reason. She doesn't get in as much trouble b/c she listens better but that has def changed as well. Shes on the spectrum and has Sensory disorder along w/ depression and anxiety.She and my son were both bullied alot in school. But Poor Hannah would be bullied at home and then come home and be bullied by her brother. It was a nightmare! He has no friends b/c of his antics so when he tries to talk to her now, she wants nothing to do with him which upsets him. However, right now its his mental state & hes never called me any horrible names but he just called me the B word b/c he was picking cat out of liter box while cat was trying to go to the bathroom! I got upset and he started losing it big time. I only have ONE friend/relative that helps and cares about me and thats my mom, Bonnie. She has a brain tumor but she gets MRI's every so often and God has blessed her and kept her healthy thus far but i can't help but be so scared of losing her. Not just b/c she helps me but b/c i love her so much. I feel very guilty tho b/c I am so moody and irritable from my health issues. I have many health problems and its led to totally destroying my life. Of course, Im very blessed to have my kids and mom so I hate to complain. But I don't know how much more negativity and stress I can take. Im in a terrible state financial wise. I have collectors calling me. I can't help b/c i have so much debt. I had a great career & alot of Life Insurance which was very imp to me b/c i didin't want my kids to grow up poor like me. But I had TONS of student loans but thought ill get a great job and it'll be worth it. I never imagined at 43, having to use a cane sometimes b/c i can't walk. Fibromyalgia/CFS is extremely disabling but b/c its an "invisible Illness", many people don't take it seriously or think you are exaggerating or just lazy. But i also have many other health issues w/ thyroid,migraines,fatigue,poycystic ovarian syndrome and so forth. Life is so stressful but i keep thinking of the day i lose my mom, think how bad it will be then. I just want Jesus to come soon so bad. I want us to all go to heave together so I don't have experience losing my mom or any1. Im scared of death but Im a Christian so I know I should have faith and be strong. But many Christians die horrible deaths like other people so I think what if that happens or what if I lose my child. Im terrified of my kids esp, my son right now, commiting suicide. And ive def had those thoughts but my faith and family is only reason I haven't done that. I hear of people being healed but Ive prayed and haven't been and thats one thing thats hard to explain to my kids b/c I don't understand it myself. My son said last night that he blames God for giving me Fibro. I said he didn't give it to me. He said well he won't heal you! How do i explain that when I don't understand myself? So sorry for the long post. Please pray for Bonnie, Tyler, Hannah and me, Terri. Thank you very much. God Bless.