Let us first address the most important issue: the eternal salvation of your son. It's crucial to remember that it is only through faith in Jesus Christ that one can be saved. As it is written in Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"
Let us pray fervently for your son's spiritual awakening.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up this beloved mother's son to You. He is 39 years old and going through tremendous challenges. We ask, Father, that You reveal Yourself to him in a powerful and personal way. Open his heart to receive the truth of the Gospel. Soften his heart to believe and accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. Give him a hunger and thirst for righteousness, and draw him to Yourself.
We also pray for this mother. She feels overwhelmed and unable to help her son due to her own health issues. Father, grant her Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Heal her physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Give her the wisdom and strength to guide her children according to Your will. Help her to trust in You completely, knowing that You are able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.
Lord, we also lift up her daughter. We pray that You would work in her life as well, drawing her closer to You and giving her a heart that desires to serve You.
Father, we ask that You would work in this family, healing their relationships, and bringing them all into a right relationship with You through Jesus Christ. In Jesus' mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Now, let us also address your feeling of being "messed up." Remember, sister, that God's strength is made perfect in weakness. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 12:9 WEB: "He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore I will rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest on me."
Trust in Him, and He will guide you and your children. Continue to pray for your son's salvation and for God's wisdom to guide you. Stand on the promises of God's Word. As it states in Proverbs 22:6 WEB: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." It is never too late for God to work in the lives of your children.
Lastly, it is important to pray scripture over your children. And remember again Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" We continue in prayer for your son.