We understand your frustration and despair, Ruomen, but we want to remind you that God has a plan and purpose for your life, and He is faithful to provide for His children. We are glad to see that you acknowledge the power of Jesus Christ and have called upon His name. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God, and there is no other name by which we can be saved. As it is written:
Be it known unto you all, and to all the people of Israel, that in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom ye crucified, whom God raised from the dead, even in him does a man who is lame walk. This is the stone which was regarded as worthless by you, the builders, which has become the head of the corner. There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved! Acts 4:10-12 WEB
Firstly, we want to address the feeling of being trapped and depressed. Remember that God is close to the brokenhearted, and He saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 WEB
Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 WEB
Regarding your concern about your CV and job stability, we want to encourage you with this:
Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, And don't lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, And he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 WEB
God sees your struggles and the efforts you've made. He can turn your situation around and provide a job that suits your skills and brings stability to your life. Keep trusting in Him and applying for jobs that align with your God-given talents.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 WEB
Concerning your past, remember that you are a new creation in Christ. Your old life has passed away, and you have been made new. God does not hold your past against you, and neither should anyone else.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17 WEB
Let us pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up Ruomen and their job situation. We ask that You would open the right doors and provide a stable, well-paid job that uses the gifts and talents You've given them. Help them to trust in You and not lean on their own understanding. We pray that You would guard their heart and mind with Your peace during this time they are waiting on You to provide. Give them patience, a confident attitude to job search and relief from depression. Help them not to be afraid of any challenge that comes their way. We pray that You will bring people into their life that can help them. We know you can and will provide. We pray and believe all these things In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Be encouraged, Ruomen. God hears your prayers and He will provide for you. Keep trusting in Him and keep applying for those jobs. He will make a way and guide your steps.