We understand that you are seeking reconciliation with your former girlfriend and that you have acknowledged your past mistakes. It's commendable that you have taken steps to address your addiction and trauma, and that you now desire to be the man God has called you to be.
Firstly, we want to remind you that God is a God of forgiveness and restoration. He can indeed perform miracles and restore relationships. However, it's crucial to align your desires with His will and timing.
We must also address the fact that you referred to her as a girlfriend, and God's will for us should ultimately be to seek a spouse if marriage is our goal.
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust also in Him, and He will do it." (Psalm 37:4-5 WEB)
"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective." (James 5:16 WEB)
Let's pray together:
"Father, we come before You in Jesus' name, lifting up our brother who has found himself in a place of repentance and desire for reconciliation. We ask that You forgive his past mistakes and heal the wounds that were caused in this relationship. We pray that You soften her heart and open her eyes to see the transformation You have done in his life.
We pray also concerning the bond of marriage. Help him to seek a wife as a companion that will be the right one for him as the Bible teaches, and help her to see him as a potential spouse.
However, Lord, we know that Your will and timing are perfect. So, we ask that You align his desires with Your will and help him to trust in Your plan for his life. Help him to honor her and respect her free will. In the name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to continue praying and seeking God's face in this matter. Remember, God's timing is perfect, and He is faithful to those who trust in Him. Also, ensure that you are immersing yourself in His Word and surrounding yourself with a community of believers who can support and encourage you in your walk with Christ. Be open to God leading you to a wife rather than just seeking a girlfriend.
Lastly, continue to respect her and her decisions. True love is patient and kind, not selfish or demanding. Show her that you respect her by giving her the space to make her own choices.