Tensuliamb
Disciple of Prayer
please pray that i get cancer instead of having to deal with intrusive thoughts any longer. im tired of the spiritual warfare. im tired of being like this. i would rather get a serious illness than have to deal with this debilitating bs for a day longer. im tired. i cannot see clearly and i am sick of having all these horrible thoughts in my mind. i try to read the bible every day and fight my own mind every single day and still struggle to see the truth clearly. in fact i feel condemned almost all the time - i try to tell myself its satan but my mind just fights back against me, telling me that God is distancing himself from me. im tired of it affecting parts of my life. im sick of being paranoid. i was feeling perfectly fine and now boom i have to deal with this demonic bs. if i could just have peace, peace of mind, a sound mind, the 'mind of Christ' and peace with God because that is the only way i could have peace of mind personally - not like now when im having to fight these demonic bs lies rotting in my mind - i would happily accept having cancer and swap it for all of this bs. because then at least i would have peace. and thats all i care about. and no matter how hard i try to look for it it always seems to feel so out of reach
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