In my heart and mind I want to keep improving. But I struggle with loneliness for other humans. Those that can help me become better then I am. I have not met people like this. Most Christian people seem to be worse than me. Sure they are often happier What I'm saying is, it is easy to be judgmental of those that are under you, and think to yourself, "I would never be like that." You don't know until you got to live your life that way.