Skarrineth
Disciple of Prayer
I ruined my life once; I can't again, please Lord. Please, I need some serious prayers and maybe encouraging words about God and my faith. I pray to my divine, the Almighty, my Savior, my heart ♥ my higher power. Is Christianity the correct choice though? Who struggled with it before? How can we actually be sure of it, and what if we have a hard time reading the Bible or believing everything's right and accurate in it? It's a history thing. His Story = history; it's been changed so many times in how many years?! Endless years. I know people will say He's in my heart and tell what I should do or know. Try just praying about it anyway; all those obvious options I've heard all my life are pretty easy to figure out! I'm ### and I have struggled with being with the right higher power. I've more than anything been spiritual and I define believe and know factually there is a Divine and Savior, a Creator. I've watched my prayers answered before my eyes and know I have. Someone only side that helps me, but also I've seen evil right there battling if or I don't know what or why, but the higher power can't always stop evil from winning my battle. I don't know why. Maybe it's on me. That's that.
Sims stuff you'd never get what I mean, but it's more than we can grasp... I have struggled with horrid mental health issues all my life since a 9-year-old. Meds and all the other crap out there, imagine ### years straight on meds. In therapy. Doing TMS. Ketamine and finally, doing drugs was the only thing that helped, at least enough not to lose it or kill myself. I'm at the hands of addiction again right now; I can't do it; I can't stop though!!! I need more than just advice saying go get help. I can't do that right now; I have a home, a family to care for now!!!! Not just some kid who can give up my life temporarily at the moment. I need to go to rehab.
I'm in deep with a court program; I've skipped on for a break ### months and made lies up the whole time. Well, it's coming to an end; my PO is going to say screw it if I don't have proof of what I've been doing. I only have a little bit of truth to what I told him. Now what hail?? Lose my car?? Lose my home?? All this stuff is possible and it's taking turns I can't handle!!! I'm so ### and angry with myself. Soon as I stop, my BF persuaded me into using so that he can too. But I can't just jump away from that either!! I care for him; his neuro health declined a few years ago; he's not all the way there now; he needs care. I'm not even good enough to handle, but he refuses to get help if I leave; he just lets himself get so bad off he'll live in a box before doing that stuff embarrassing to him; he doesn't know how to live alone anymore. So I'll probably be here till that ends too, so I need strength to stop this madness. Please pray for me and lift my divine Fri. The shadows and kill this addiction from inside out; it's taking everything I've earned and fought so hard to have be the person I am. Today. I had ### months clean and in May we messed up. And now, it's off on off on, but we can't just get better. We've taken tons of steps towards it, but the addict in me is so strong; nothing helps it for long at all. Yes, I see doctors, duh, read this prayer req again and you'll see how long I've been treated for my mental. Obviously, I tried everything over the years to end my addiction, but why can't it stay away?!!! I tried all options, medicine, and MAT wise for it too, on top of it. You don't know. I've tried every last thing you could suggest to me. Now I just need ways to get through this and ultimately get past this before my life is taken from me and I'm left to rot. I won't survive this.
I'll end up taking my own life, please understand me; the pain is too much. I've got no support or friends, so don't try that either. Here is my last resort. P... Sorry, I'm typing fast and frantic; I need help from prayer and clarifying my faith if anyone out there can simply understand this message. It's a cry for the Almighty and praying for prayer to work. I know it has, but the evil is stronger now. It's had time to strengthen. I haven't done enough to fight it now. Help.
Sims stuff you'd never get what I mean, but it's more than we can grasp... I have struggled with horrid mental health issues all my life since a 9-year-old. Meds and all the other crap out there, imagine ### years straight on meds. In therapy. Doing TMS. Ketamine and finally, doing drugs was the only thing that helped, at least enough not to lose it or kill myself. I'm at the hands of addiction again right now; I can't do it; I can't stop though!!! I need more than just advice saying go get help. I can't do that right now; I have a home, a family to care for now!!!! Not just some kid who can give up my life temporarily at the moment. I need to go to rehab.
I'm in deep with a court program; I've skipped on for a break ### months and made lies up the whole time. Well, it's coming to an end; my PO is going to say screw it if I don't have proof of what I've been doing. I only have a little bit of truth to what I told him. Now what hail?? Lose my car?? Lose my home?? All this stuff is possible and it's taking turns I can't handle!!! I'm so ### and angry with myself. Soon as I stop, my BF persuaded me into using so that he can too. But I can't just jump away from that either!! I care for him; his neuro health declined a few years ago; he's not all the way there now; he needs care. I'm not even good enough to handle, but he refuses to get help if I leave; he just lets himself get so bad off he'll live in a box before doing that stuff embarrassing to him; he doesn't know how to live alone anymore. So I'll probably be here till that ends too, so I need strength to stop this madness. Please pray for me and lift my divine Fri. The shadows and kill this addiction from inside out; it's taking everything I've earned and fought so hard to have be the person I am. Today. I had ### months clean and in May we messed up. And now, it's off on off on, but we can't just get better. We've taken tons of steps towards it, but the addict in me is so strong; nothing helps it for long at all. Yes, I see doctors, duh, read this prayer req again and you'll see how long I've been treated for my mental. Obviously, I tried everything over the years to end my addiction, but why can't it stay away?!!! I tried all options, medicine, and MAT wise for it too, on top of it. You don't know. I've tried every last thing you could suggest to me. Now I just need ways to get through this and ultimately get past this before my life is taken from me and I'm left to rot. I won't survive this.
I'll end up taking my own life, please understand me; the pain is too much. I've got no support or friends, so don't try that either. Here is my last resort. P... Sorry, I'm typing fast and frantic; I need help from prayer and clarifying my faith if anyone out there can simply understand this message. It's a cry for the Almighty and praying for prayer to work. I know it has, but the evil is stronger now. It's had time to strengthen. I haven't done enough to fight it now. Help.