Tami7
Disciple of Prayer
Please pray for my friend ###. She sent me this terrifying message this morning: What I sent to my counselor: Body still not going, little to no sleep still, trouble with urine, nervous system is wrecked from the stress of all this, I'm out of time, cried to dad last night, he's more concerned about losing his airplane money vs me. I'm afraid I'm going to end up in ER today, it was discussed last night I can't continue to force food in my body and not expel, ERs haven't gone well, nothing has, the benzo has paralyzed me and made me so hyper aroused and hypervigilant that I haven't been able to get care, I feel like I need knocked out to get care, I'm afraid I will get ignored or they will give me something that kills me, idk what to do, freaking out. So much has manifested into real health issues because of the fight or flight and surging which shuts down my GI. I haven't been able to make rash decisions because of the surging, my body hasn't reacted well because of the surging. This is dangerous and scary, my panic and terror screws me from getting help and my body reacts to everything I'm scared of dying, getting worse, symptoms I can't handle, I'm not even in that environment yet and my brain and body are acting and feeling as if they already are. This drug and toxic stress over so long and suffering has taken away my ability to handle stress. The PTSD is so severe, my dad and Drs don't get it, I can't be thrown into a mental facility in ###. They don't taper, it would kill me, my psych ### even knows that would not be an ok option or place for me. He said it. The medical system doesn't get benzos. I can't just go into the ER and say hey I've got severe medical trauma and PTSD and I don't want to be here and me and my body are going to freak out to anything you want to do, and the benzo I'm on doesn't work and caused a lot of my issues to get worse, but my gut is full and not moving but it's not just constipation, I wish I knew how much of this was mind and nervous system, I wish the ER wasn't so limited and cookie cutter, I wish drs would take into consideration these drugs which they don't get and my emaciation, I wish I could go back to 2019 when I wasn't afraid of drs and ERs and drugs to the extent I am now so I could get help, back then I wasn't in tolerance, and I didn't have medical trauma. I'm high risk for overdosing, the longer this has gone on the more my mind has freaked and my body has halted. I went back on my stool pics and it's been since my appts that things took a turn, 3rd week in February. Idk if it's mind, the switch up in my non-existent schedule now, lack of sleep, body structure changed in different positions, all of the above. I sound like a mental case and I am to an extent because of what the benzo does to stress response system and limbic part of brain. Idk what is coming from what because of lack of care since 2020. My body hasn't done well since tolerance, even though it had issues before. I need so so so many prayers, I'm terrified this is my last week of life, my will is done, my dad is planning on leaving Saturday as of now I'm so frightened I need covered in prayer and have no one to reach out to but you and like one other person on FB. I've just laid in bed all night, idk how much I slept if any, I haven't forced food since yesterday, I will have to soon due to blood sugar drops and risk of refeeding syndrome, I can't bear the thought of going to an ER, with my dad especially.
Would you all please please please lift up my friend ### to God the Father through Jesus.
Would you all please please please lift up my friend ### to God the Father through Jesus.