My friend Roy does not fully grasp what i am going thru...
Either that or he is scared or it's a combination of both....
Though he thought he wanted to help me
i am running out of time...
Tonight he got mad at me because the landlord's and real estate agent's
i called did not want to rent to me or help because i am on a Rent Subsidy
with the Federal Government and people these days do not want to deal
With Any Government Agencies...at all...
He can't handle my situation i believe because he went thru his own bad
experience with a girl but to quote Roy..."""It was my own fault"""
Roy always said..."i knew better"...
and he did from all the conversations
we have had...
Roy often says i am the girl his mother prayed that he would always meet...
But he is losing me because i have no choice...
Roy is leaving me no choice anymore...
His indecisiveness
and his lack of action to do even one
serious and constructive thing to help me
has now come down to this
He has to forfeit the girl he believes would be his future wife...
i see no other way...
again whether it is fear or immaturity or ignorance or selfishness
or perhaps all of the above
i can't wait on Roy any more...
Though i believe we would have been very good for each other
i have asked Roy a few times now
say good bye to me...just get it over with...
If Roy can't step up to the plate
Like Boaz did for Ruth
and
Joseph did for Mary
i need to stay right here in New York
and we need to go our separate ways...
i am not well enough or ready to get married
but i would make the time to get to know Roy
and for him get to know me too...
However if i am going to be homeless
i am better off all by myself...
right here in New York...
thank-you for your prayer's soo much
Daddy--God
hear what i have just said
and do what You know is best for us both...
Please either get thru to Roy the seriousness
of my whole living situation
or please let him just go away...
and forget about me...
i ask this now in faith in Jesus's name
Amen......
