ITryMyBest
Humble Prayer Warrior
Please pray I can find mental peace and calm.
I was so embarrassed today when I went to my daughters school for her Christmas show... her mom and me are divorced, and she’s been living with another man a couple years now. I’ve moved on pretty well, but I didn’t think he was going to come today. She called and called to see where I was, what time, etc. Told me she saved a spot for me. I got there, and she said I could sit on a blanket she brought. Show was outdoors. She was in a chair. I looked over to the left, and he was there. What the fu**!!!
Im sitting on a blanket next to my ex wife and her boyfriend who are both in chairs. In front row. All parents of the class are behind us... some I’ve known for years, the teacher even looked at me like wth. My daughter was right in front of us waiting to perform so I couldn’t just get up and go.... how embarrassing. When she performed and came back, he was clapping and yelling like he was her dad. My fucking life is an embarrassment. God you just want to keep kicking me when you get the chance... why not turn my luck around already? Bring me someone in my life to love, who really loves me?? Stop hurting and embarrassing me.
Then in my office, a small office, I have a pair of egomaniac narcissists who are always trying to put the next man down. I’ve had to stand up to both, nearly at point of fighting, and both respect and keep space, but the level of negativity and tension, and in one of them, obvious hatred, is too much. That one is my age, mid 30s, with no kids. He’s still a fucking kid. Always trying to show off, and its tiring... other one is younger, smarter, but with similar intentions. We’ve been good, but there’s tension. Feel like I always have to keep my guard up.
I’m going to lose it... God. Help me keep my mind together, my sanity. Help me feel good and keep my life together. Thank you for the blessings you have given me, but I need courage, I need clarity, I need serenity, and I need to keep my own ego in check. Please help me.
I was so embarrassed today when I went to my daughters school for her Christmas show... her mom and me are divorced, and she’s been living with another man a couple years now. I’ve moved on pretty well, but I didn’t think he was going to come today. She called and called to see where I was, what time, etc. Told me she saved a spot for me. I got there, and she said I could sit on a blanket she brought. Show was outdoors. She was in a chair. I looked over to the left, and he was there. What the fu**!!!
Im sitting on a blanket next to my ex wife and her boyfriend who are both in chairs. In front row. All parents of the class are behind us... some I’ve known for years, the teacher even looked at me like wth. My daughter was right in front of us waiting to perform so I couldn’t just get up and go.... how embarrassing. When she performed and came back, he was clapping and yelling like he was her dad. My fucking life is an embarrassment. God you just want to keep kicking me when you get the chance... why not turn my luck around already? Bring me someone in my life to love, who really loves me?? Stop hurting and embarrassing me.
Then in my office, a small office, I have a pair of egomaniac narcissists who are always trying to put the next man down. I’ve had to stand up to both, nearly at point of fighting, and both respect and keep space, but the level of negativity and tension, and in one of them, obvious hatred, is too much. That one is my age, mid 30s, with no kids. He’s still a fucking kid. Always trying to show off, and its tiring... other one is younger, smarter, but with similar intentions. We’ve been good, but there’s tension. Feel like I always have to keep my guard up.
I’m going to lose it... God. Help me keep my mind together, my sanity. Help me feel good and keep my life together. Thank you for the blessings you have given me, but I need courage, I need clarity, I need serenity, and I need to keep my own ego in check. Please help me.