"Trust God's forgiveness! 'If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.' (1 John 1:9) He's here to help. 'Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you.' (Ps 55:22) Praying for your freedom & strength! 
"
**Prayer Group Updates!** 
Let's lift up 
Anonymous
Beloved of All
Dear brothers and sisters,
I was tempted by some people around me to try cannabis, I smoked not so much and just once which manifested as the scariest thing I ever experienced. I thought I'd die and heart would stop. It was the first time in my life I learned what a panic attack was. Ever since I had 2-4 more attacks, mostly triggered by stress (arguments from people doing me dirty) or caffeine and sometimes vaping. (I plan to quit vaping but I want to be able to have coffee again.) Anyways I was all fine until 5 days ago. For a whole month it was fine. It was just the odd dizziness and light headedness and chest tightness and feeling short of breath. But I had a huge blow up in public on public transport, full on tears and paranoia for no reason. I suspect the weed unlocked my anxiety as Dr said. Said to see a therapist. But i have no money for one. I feel so scared and alone, i feel like i'm going to lose myself and go crazy, sometimes i think God i feel tortured, my mind and body hang on still but why if i am dysfunctional and can't even complete one daily task. All i do is overwork myself with my jobs and then unload with TV and i am lonely with minimal people around me. I had 3 panic attacks in 3 days in a row few days ago, most intense and most frequent i ever had and for no reason after all was well for a month. i repented and deeply apologised to the Lord and I am embarassed I let myself try the weed under persuasion as I was very stressed and used it as a vice. Now i suffer. I am pathetic. I just want to be normal again. I prayed to God and I hope he hears my prayer. No one took my condition serious, only very few. I felt betrayed and unsupported. I also live not with family, unlike most people i know. I feel like I'm disconnected from myself, dizzy, brain fog, intolerance to hot air flow or high temperature of the room, sometimes my heart beats too slow sometimes too fast and sometimes i can't feel it. I'm like a mad person constantly checking my pulse, i'm regressing to old activities to calm myself down, i suffer for 5 days with no coffee and coming off niccotine. It's awful, can't enjoy my holiday which I'm on right now. I feel like I am a hypochondriac rn after this fear, I fear I have Depersonalization and derealization as everything feels so far away and like I don't exist. I feel i might have chronic fatigue syndrome from the insomnia of the anxiety at night. I also fear dying. Because I thought I could have back then. I wanna not associate coffee or vapes with that scary experience either, in the future and be scared to consume it due to the current condition aka i dont wanna mentally condition myself to be scared of such normal things when I get better. I just want to be alright. I also think I might have PTSD or anxiety/panic disorder. or maybe i don't and am just trying to find logic in this. maybe all it is is just anxiety unlocked by the weed and an unknown trigger. the heart palpitations are so scary especially when they get too too fast. please help me.
I just wanna be fully functioning as before. to have relationships. to be able to give birth. exercise. do things that a increased heart rate can handle.
Pls brothers and sisters pray I am fully healed in Christ Jesus' name and pray I can stop giving my family grief and worry, that I can look after them than have to be looked after (my parents are elderly) and may I be able to enjoy my holiday and do every leisurely AND productive activity i have in mind on my daily task list. may i have energy to do life and not feel tired, to be able to sleep and not scared to sleep or die, to stop checking my body all the time and look normal outwardly too. Pls pray for me and in return may blessings be bestowed on you, in Jesus' name. Thank you.
I was tempted by some people around me to try cannabis, I smoked not so much and just once which manifested as the scariest thing I ever experienced. I thought I'd die and heart would stop. It was the first time in my life I learned what a panic attack was. Ever since I had 2-4 more attacks, mostly triggered by stress (arguments from people doing me dirty) or caffeine and sometimes vaping. (I plan to quit vaping but I want to be able to have coffee again.) Anyways I was all fine until 5 days ago. For a whole month it was fine. It was just the odd dizziness and light headedness and chest tightness and feeling short of breath. But I had a huge blow up in public on public transport, full on tears and paranoia for no reason. I suspect the weed unlocked my anxiety as Dr said. Said to see a therapist. But i have no money for one. I feel so scared and alone, i feel like i'm going to lose myself and go crazy, sometimes i think God i feel tortured, my mind and body hang on still but why if i am dysfunctional and can't even complete one daily task. All i do is overwork myself with my jobs and then unload with TV and i am lonely with minimal people around me. I had 3 panic attacks in 3 days in a row few days ago, most intense and most frequent i ever had and for no reason after all was well for a month. i repented and deeply apologised to the Lord and I am embarassed I let myself try the weed under persuasion as I was very stressed and used it as a vice. Now i suffer. I am pathetic. I just want to be normal again. I prayed to God and I hope he hears my prayer. No one took my condition serious, only very few. I felt betrayed and unsupported. I also live not with family, unlike most people i know. I feel like I'm disconnected from myself, dizzy, brain fog, intolerance to hot air flow or high temperature of the room, sometimes my heart beats too slow sometimes too fast and sometimes i can't feel it. I'm like a mad person constantly checking my pulse, i'm regressing to old activities to calm myself down, i suffer for 5 days with no coffee and coming off niccotine. It's awful, can't enjoy my holiday which I'm on right now. I feel like I am a hypochondriac rn after this fear, I fear I have Depersonalization and derealization as everything feels so far away and like I don't exist. I feel i might have chronic fatigue syndrome from the insomnia of the anxiety at night. I also fear dying. Because I thought I could have back then. I wanna not associate coffee or vapes with that scary experience either, in the future and be scared to consume it due to the current condition aka i dont wanna mentally condition myself to be scared of such normal things when I get better. I just want to be alright. I also think I might have PTSD or anxiety/panic disorder. or maybe i don't and am just trying to find logic in this. maybe all it is is just anxiety unlocked by the weed and an unknown trigger. the heart palpitations are so scary especially when they get too too fast. please help me.
I just wanna be fully functioning as before. to have relationships. to be able to give birth. exercise. do things that a increased heart rate can handle.
Pls brothers and sisters pray I am fully healed in Christ Jesus' name and pray I can stop giving my family grief and worry, that I can look after them than have to be looked after (my parents are elderly) and may I be able to enjoy my holiday and do every leisurely AND productive activity i have in mind on my daily task list. may i have energy to do life and not feel tired, to be able to sleep and not scared to sleep or die, to stop checking my body all the time and look normal outwardly too. Pls pray for me and in return may blessings be bestowed on you, in Jesus' name. Thank you.
