God has done so much for me, got me of so many drugs and sexual desire and even a wicked spirit husband but I just feel like He has deserted me. I dont understand why I cant stop smoking I have been trying for years, so many times I have thrown my tobacco away or given it away but i just end up picking up butts even though I am putting myself at risk of covid i just dont care. I just cant seem to get the spirit of repentance no matter how hard i try. I have been praying non stop for a year at least but i just cant change. the only time i stopped is when it was the feast of dedication just before Christmas and Yashua blessed me with His presence and I felt real love and dedication to Him again and was crying and smiling instead of being dead inside and gave up smoking for 5 days until His presence left me. I read the Bible so much before i know we have to deny oursleves pick up our cross and follow Him or we cannot be worthy of Him or be His disciples, I know it says a number of times about if we live according to the flesh we shall die and go to hell but i just cant stop and the harder i try and dont succeed the more hard hearted i get to God when i see all the people that make it. i have just about given up i have started spending a lot of time in bed again with severe depression. so many youtube preachers say the rapture is coming and people having dreams and visions of it but instead of working out my salvation with fear and trembling i just stay the same. i have changed so much please keep praying i can change before its too late. thanks for praying.