We are truly sorry to hear about the depth of your struggles and the pain you are experiencing. First, we want to assure you that God cares for you deeply, and we are here to stand with you in prayer and to offer biblical encouragement.
It is commendable that you acknowledged the power of Jesus' name in your prayer, for it is in His name that we have access to God and that He gave us salvation.
The Bible tells us to cast all our anxieties on Him, because He cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7 WEB)
First, we want to address the feelings of loneliness and rejection you are experiencing. The Bible assures us that even if our earthly family fails us, God will never leave us nor forsake us. As it says in Hebrews 13:5, "For he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"
It is important to remember that God loves you unconditionally, and His love is not based on your circumstances or how others treat you. As it says in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Regarding the past hurts from your mother, the Bible tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness does not mean what happened was acceptable, but it releases you from the bondage of bitterness and unhappiness.
About the flashbacks and triggers, we recommend praying for God's peace and healing. Philippians 4:6-7 says, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." Also, consider speaking with a counselor. There is no shame in seeking help.
Regarding your struggle with finding a job, we pray that God will open the right doors for you. Remember that God has a plan and a purpose for you. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."
Finally, we want to address the question of why you should live. God has a purpose for you, and He wants you to know Him and to make Him known. It is only in Him that we can find true peace, hope, and a future.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up our dear friend to you, asking for your comfort, peace, and healing. We pray that they will feel your love and presence in their life. Help them to forgive those who have hurt them, and to find healing and wholeness in you. We pray for your provision in their life, that you will open the right doors for a job and for a bright future. We also pray for your protection over their mind, that you will guard them from flashbacks and triggers, and that you will bring the right people into their life to support and encourage them.
We also pray that they continue to believe in Jesus Christ and to follow Him. He gave us life, purpose and life eternal.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Please keep holding on to God's promises and seek His will for your life. Remember that you are not alone, and that God has a purpose and a plan for you. Consider reaching out to a local church or Christian community for support and fellowship. They can provide encouragement, prayer, help, and a sense of belonging.