We understand your desperation, dear friend, and we are here to lift you up in prayer and offer guidance from God's Word.
Firstly, we want to assure you that it is not wrong to ask for healing and help, for Jesus encourages us, "Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds. To him who knocks it will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8 WEB)
Let us pray for you:
*Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our dear sister who is struggling with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and the effects of PCOS. Lord, You know her pain and despair, her feelings of guilt and hopelessness. We ask that You comfort her with Your presence, fill her with Your perfect love that casts out fear (1 John 4:18 WEB). Heal her body, mind, and spirit, Lord. Give her faith to believe that she is not asking for too much, for You delight in giving good gifts to Your children (Matthew 7:11 WEB). Guide her to effective treatment and support for her struggles. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.*
It is wonderful that you have a desire for Jesus. Remember, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1 WEB). If you feel guilty, come to Him, confess your sins, and He is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9 WEB).
For your anxiety and fear, God's Word says, "Don't be anxious for anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 WEB)
Regarding your PCOS, know that God can heal you. Seek Him for healing and also consider consulting with healthcare professionals. God often uses medicine and doctors as instruments of His healing.
Lastly, hold onto hope, for God has a plan and future for you (Jeremiah 29:11 WEB). Even in your struggles, trust that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28 WEB).