Skewsander
Disciple of Prayer
please help me pray. praying is quite hard for me. it always has been, i’ve always felt unheard by god. please pray for my ex, i think he’s going down a bad path right now. he’s been drinking and smoking a bit excessively since the end of february to my knowledge. we broke up in march but continued to hangout for all of that month. we had a rocky relationship because we fought a ton but we always loved each other. i think i have borderline personality disorder and it’s kind of been ruining my life for my entire life. it has been especially bad for the last year. he got in an accident in the last year that caused a personality switch in both of us. we were more angry, we fought more. we still loved each other but we were always fighting. i want to pray that god does a miracle in his life and his home life. he’s always had a bad relationship with his dad and i want to pray that somehow someway it gets better. i pray that his dad does a turn around and actually starts to get better and to change. i hope that my ex can also do a turn around. i pray that god can do a miracle in their lives. i pray to god that he can help my ex through the things he has to get through. i pray to god that he can help me to get through the things i have to get through. please help me pray these things. please pray them with me. i want us to be able to come together again some day and to have a renewed, healthy and whole relationship. i love him more than anyone, i was closer to him than anyone. he was my best friend and i was his. after we broke up, we had some fun times we hadn’t had in a bit. he would casually talk about, “if we get back together ____” on the regular. i can’t imagine he can be done with me for forever. he never hated me for the awful things i said and did, he loved me through it all. he knew there was good under all of the bad. i just hope he wants to give me a second chance some day. i think he knows i can heal and that i can be better. we spoke about, “needing a hard reset” i’m hoping that is all this is. we haven’t spoken in a little over two months. he, “picked someone over me,” i use quotes because really he has an avoidant personality so i don’t really think he moved on like it seemed. i think he was trying to find a way to stop talking to me because i wasn’t changing. he then met a girl and liked her and they dated for a month or so. i’m not sure why they split up but i know they did because i saw an instagram story of hers that made it very clear that they were done. i want to pray for her as well. to my knowledge, she’s been through a lot. i want to pray that someone perfect comes along for her as she is about four months pregnant right now. i hated her at first but there have been a few times recently where i’ve felt bad for her and have even cried for her. so i want to pray that someone comes along for her before she has her baby. someone who will love her no matter what, be there for her, help her and heal her wounds. i know this is a lot of prayer requests so i’m sorry. please pray that god brings peace over me that lasts, that time starts going faster for me. please pray that i can get help and find new hobbies i like doing. please pray that god does a miracle in my ex’s life, that he can get help and feel better. pray that god brings about realizations when the time is right. please pray that god helps him to miss me one day and helps him to realize that he needs to get help too. pray that he is willing to try out counseling. i think he could really use it but he is completely against it. this is all really hard for me. he used to be my next door neighbor so i saw him every day for two years. he moved out of his parents house within the last month but he still comes around. i like to see him from a distance but sometimes it makes me feel sick and i get a pit in my stomach. please pray for us, whenever you can. i really need the help. thank you.
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