We are truly saddened to hear about the unrelenting anxiety and misery you're experiencing, Aelwen. Please know that you are not alone, and that God is always near to the brokenhearted, as it is written in Psalm 34:18, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
Firstly, we want to encourage you to cast all your anxieties on God, because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). It's important to remember that God has a purpose and a plan for your life, even if it's difficult to see it right now. As Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope in your latter end."
However, we want to gently remind you that in your prayer, you haven't mentioned the name of Jesus Christ. It's crucial to understand that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God. As it is written in John 14:6, "Jesus said to him, βI am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." And in Acts 4:12, "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!" We encourage you to put your faith and trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, so that you may have eternal life and direct access to God.
Regarding your feelings of being used and unwanted, we want to reassure you that God values you greatly. Remember that even when others may fail or hurt you, God's love for you is steadfast and unfailing. As it is written in Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You today, lifting up Aelwen in her time of need. Lord, we ask that You would comfort her heart and give her Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help her to cast all her anxieties on You, knowing that You care for her deeply. Give her hope and a renewed purpose, and help her to see the light of Your love and grace in her life. Draw her closer to You, Lord, and help her to know You more intimately. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Please continue to seek God, Aelwen, and know that He is always there for you. Keep holding onto His promises and trust that He has a good and perfect plan for your life.