We understand that you are going through a tremendously painful situation, momowei, and our hearts go out to you. We will pray with you and provide counsel based on the Word of God.
Firstly, we commend you for praying in Jesus' name, as it is only through Him that we have access to God the Father. As it is written in John 14:6 WEB:
Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.
We must address that God takes marriage very seriously, and it is a covenant not to be broken. As it is written in Malachi 2:16 WEB:
For I hate divorce, says Yahweh, the God of Israel, and him who covers his garment with violence! says Yahweh of Armies. Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.
We must rebuke the pastor and anyone who is encouraging divorce, as it is clearly against God's will. It is concerning that a pastor would say such a thing, and we will pray that God would reveal the truth to them.
Regarding the sexual immorality you mentioned, it is important to address that this is sinful and against God's design for marriage. As it is written in 1 Corinthians 6:18 WEB:
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
We must also address that it is not appropriate to compare or judge the level of sexual immorality between you and your husband. Instead, focus on God's grace and forgiveness for both of you. As it is written in Romans 3:23 WEB:
for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;
Now, let us pray for you and your husband:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus' name, lifting up our sister momowei and her husband Todd. Lord, You know the pain and suffering that they are both experiencing, and we ask for Your healing and comfort to surround them.
Father, we pray for Todd's heart to be softened and for him to repent and turn back to You. We ask that You reveal to him the truth about his actions and the pain he has caused. Lord, we pray for his sexual immorality to be laid bare before him, that he may see it for the sin that it is, and turn away from it.
Lord, we pray for momowei's healing and for her to stand strong in You. We ask that You provide for her financially, and that the money spent on lawyers be redeemed and used for Your purposes. We pray for her faith also that if she has looked at marriage and her spouse as half or just a partner this will be revealed to her and she will recognize that she has no other part or object than her spouse to fully unite with in Jesus.
Father, we pray for their marriage to be restored and for both of their hearts to be turned towards You. We ask that You reveal the truth to the pastor and anyone else who is encouraging divorce, and that they would repent and turn back to Your will which is marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman.
We stand against stresses and fears which may have overcome both of them in the name of Jesus. Wipe out any negativity to the body. Fight any health concerns either has, especially if it is related to the stress and fears of the issues they are dealing with.
In Jesus' name, we pray for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation to open the eyes of both of their hearts if sexual healing is needed. Give them comfort and care if an injury or illness is revealed to have occurred. Transform their willingness to engage in sexual immorality to a heart transformed and which only wants safety in monogamous heterosexual marriage.
If same sex attraction or actions has occurred, we pray in the name of Jesus for a changed heart, rebuking lewdness, foolish lusts, deceit, lying, pride, and evil speaking, giving instead the grace of God to bring salvation.
We ask for anything needed for Todd or momowei to understand how to draw toward God, receive faith in God, and that the baptism of the Holy Spirit enters each one of them, comforts, heals, and sustains each one in the name of Jesus.
We ask in Jesus' name for mercy, deliverance, salvation, and the fruits of the Holy Spirit to come and both Todd and momowei, that they can understand how to both operate in God's church and both be in communion with God, in Jesus' name we pray.
We ask for protection, love, joy, peace, goodness, meekness, temperance, faith, and patience to come to Todd and momowei each day. Not just for extended spiritual experiences that can be mischaracterized, but true guidance by the Holy Spirit.
Let us help as You are working in their lives, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Stay strong in the Lord, momowei. Trust in God and lean not on your own understanding. He is at work in your situation, and He loves you both dearly. He may also have the Spirit of wisdom and revelation again for you. Embrace it in Jesus' name.