Ychen
Disciple of Prayer
I am in a state of panic and heavy anxiety. Like I’m screaming inside. My fiancé of 15 years is acting like he don’t love me anymore. He works out of town a lot stays up after I go to bed and will not answer phone at night when out of town. I deep down know he’s been stepping out. When I confront him he says I’m crazy and denies everything he does. I can no longer trust him. I have no support and no friends. I gave up all my friends 5 yrs cuz they all drink and I don’t drink anymore. My life is very isolated. I cry and cry wondering why he doesn’t love me anymore but will not say it. He’s been vague and shallow. Definitely not the relation we used to have. Is all different and I feel like he didn’t want to tell me he’s not in love with me anymore but say it. I’m just soooo very hurt and confused, no place to go, can’t leave cuz I’ve been dependent on him paying to rent and I pay for everything else. I can’t do that alone. I’ve been praying and praying that for will ease my suffering cause death seems very appealing to me right now.