Anonymous
Beloved of All
Dear Lord Jesus, I am praying to You about the pain in my heart lately. Lord God, You made me, so You know everything there is to know about me - You alone know my future, You alone hold the keys to every possibility, - You God are the prime actor in all things, and You alone cause to be, and cause to cease.Β
God, I need You in my life, - and I need Your love. Without Your help there is no hope left for me - the door, Lord, without Your hand to open it is closed forever to me - and it is up to You and out of my control to give my life meaning, to make a goodly tree out of me - so that I might give forth all of those fruits You desire. I exist for no other reason than to please You, God, and as hard as I try - I am helpless to do even that.
God, my heart hurts lately. There is a young man in my life, - and he is a lot like who I was a long time ago - and I look at Him, and God Your favor on him is mighty, Your hand in his life is a marvel to everyone who knows him - and while I am not jealous, I am cut extremely deeply - because in this person are also hopes and dreams I had for my own relationship with You - which have not come to be, because I fall short of the measure Jesus requires of me - and I know that without His own blood, there is no prayer of mine that gets to Your ears.
God, - why am I an example to men for mockery - why am I the name they choose for example when they say: At least I am not a failure like ______? I have called on You, Jehovah of the Host, even the God of Jesus Christ, the living Spirit of God, - I have called on Your Son God, and it can only because of my own imperfection that my prayers have not born holy fruit into my life. Whatever stain I have, Jehovah of the Host, God Almighty Christ Jesus, wipe it away Lord, - or my whole life will be as waste in Your holy harvest - all of my hours will have meant not even the smallest grain of sand to You, God.
You said to me in the Gospel, and to the body of Christ You spoke in Jesus saying: All of those things you ask in My name I shall do. -
Jesus Christ, make me a successful musician filled with truth, almighty One. Let the world hear Your song, God, - let the world hear the spirit in me that through You spreads the love of God.
If there is no exception to Your word Jesus, why make me exempt to Your blessing here, - even the blessings I need to live meaningfully, and have good labor to do in God that I enjoy.
God, there is something going on here in my life, and there has been for some time, since You spoke to me in the field years ago, and I looked up and knew You were my Father, a better Father than I ever had, or ever would. You know how painful this has been for me, - this particular leg of this journey, - and Lord I am starting to crack up like good crystal in a jostle - the vessel You made is being ruined Lord, ruined by my own hand, because I am not wise like You, neither do I know Your thoughts - and I walk blind, and because of my blindness my spirit is weakening, and my injury is becoming more grave every hour that goes by. I pray to the God of my soul, Jesus Christ, Almighty One, and why are You silent regarding me? If You are not silent, why am I deaf to Your good word here? Why do I call, and I am heard not? Why do I ask, and I am given not? Or why, if I ask and I am given, does it not feel like the 'answer' I was seeking?
I know that when You are moving in my life, I am filled with the mystery of God, and I feel happy - which is rare for me, because I carry heavy burdens from my past, burdens that I have since given to Christ to bear on the Cross for me, - and although I know they are all absolved, I am still left with the scars and wounds.
Why won't You answer this prayer, Lord - what do I have to do to have this prayer answered by You Jesus Christ?
I am a man, Lord Jesus, and my strength and ability to cope without reassurance from You is very limited in scope. Truly, I can do nothing unless You also do it, or speak the word that should cause it to be - but if You keep silent regarding me, I will fall away, and I know hell will swallow me, and there will be no saving me anymore at all.
Jesus Christ, the devil has sought me out at every important turn - he has tried with a variety of tools and weapons, an array of temptations, - and how can a man contend with these things without Your help? I can't.
My prayer is for aid, Jesus Christ, and for a blessing of success and prosperity in music. It is simple, and it is so easy for God - He who is shaping the mountains - He who set the stars in motion - who am I or what is my life to Him?
I have said to You also: I accept whatever path You have for me, Jesus Christ, - even if it is completely in the other direction - just give me the eyes to see what it is You want me to do, and give me a little push in that direction, and Lord with all the haste in this failing flesh I will crawl if I have to to get where it is You desire me to be.
Hear me, Jesus Christ, - mercy of God and Son of God and Lord of Mercy, I am helpless here, and I am being tried and surrounded, hated and mocked. I am being tempted, and the salt is being poured into the wounds in my heart. Please help me, Jesus Christ.
in Jesus Christ's name amen.
God, I need You in my life, - and I need Your love. Without Your help there is no hope left for me - the door, Lord, without Your hand to open it is closed forever to me - and it is up to You and out of my control to give my life meaning, to make a goodly tree out of me - so that I might give forth all of those fruits You desire. I exist for no other reason than to please You, God, and as hard as I try - I am helpless to do even that.
God, my heart hurts lately. There is a young man in my life, - and he is a lot like who I was a long time ago - and I look at Him, and God Your favor on him is mighty, Your hand in his life is a marvel to everyone who knows him - and while I am not jealous, I am cut extremely deeply - because in this person are also hopes and dreams I had for my own relationship with You - which have not come to be, because I fall short of the measure Jesus requires of me - and I know that without His own blood, there is no prayer of mine that gets to Your ears.
God, - why am I an example to men for mockery - why am I the name they choose for example when they say: At least I am not a failure like ______? I have called on You, Jehovah of the Host, even the God of Jesus Christ, the living Spirit of God, - I have called on Your Son God, and it can only because of my own imperfection that my prayers have not born holy fruit into my life. Whatever stain I have, Jehovah of the Host, God Almighty Christ Jesus, wipe it away Lord, - or my whole life will be as waste in Your holy harvest - all of my hours will have meant not even the smallest grain of sand to You, God.
You said to me in the Gospel, and to the body of Christ You spoke in Jesus saying: All of those things you ask in My name I shall do. -
Jesus Christ, make me a successful musician filled with truth, almighty One. Let the world hear Your song, God, - let the world hear the spirit in me that through You spreads the love of God.
If there is no exception to Your word Jesus, why make me exempt to Your blessing here, - even the blessings I need to live meaningfully, and have good labor to do in God that I enjoy.
God, there is something going on here in my life, and there has been for some time, since You spoke to me in the field years ago, and I looked up and knew You were my Father, a better Father than I ever had, or ever would. You know how painful this has been for me, - this particular leg of this journey, - and Lord I am starting to crack up like good crystal in a jostle - the vessel You made is being ruined Lord, ruined by my own hand, because I am not wise like You, neither do I know Your thoughts - and I walk blind, and because of my blindness my spirit is weakening, and my injury is becoming more grave every hour that goes by. I pray to the God of my soul, Jesus Christ, Almighty One, and why are You silent regarding me? If You are not silent, why am I deaf to Your good word here? Why do I call, and I am heard not? Why do I ask, and I am given not? Or why, if I ask and I am given, does it not feel like the 'answer' I was seeking?
I know that when You are moving in my life, I am filled with the mystery of God, and I feel happy - which is rare for me, because I carry heavy burdens from my past, burdens that I have since given to Christ to bear on the Cross for me, - and although I know they are all absolved, I am still left with the scars and wounds.
Why won't You answer this prayer, Lord - what do I have to do to have this prayer answered by You Jesus Christ?
I am a man, Lord Jesus, and my strength and ability to cope without reassurance from You is very limited in scope. Truly, I can do nothing unless You also do it, or speak the word that should cause it to be - but if You keep silent regarding me, I will fall away, and I know hell will swallow me, and there will be no saving me anymore at all.
Jesus Christ, the devil has sought me out at every important turn - he has tried with a variety of tools and weapons, an array of temptations, - and how can a man contend with these things without Your help? I can't.
My prayer is for aid, Jesus Christ, and for a blessing of success and prosperity in music. It is simple, and it is so easy for God - He who is shaping the mountains - He who set the stars in motion - who am I or what is my life to Him?
I have said to You also: I accept whatever path You have for me, Jesus Christ, - even if it is completely in the other direction - just give me the eyes to see what it is You want me to do, and give me a little push in that direction, and Lord with all the haste in this failing flesh I will crawl if I have to to get where it is You desire me to be.
Hear me, Jesus Christ, - mercy of God and Son of God and Lord of Mercy, I am helpless here, and I am being tried and surrounded, hated and mocked. I am being tempted, and the salt is being poured into the wounds in my heart. Please help me, Jesus Christ.
in Jesus Christ's name amen.