Overwhelmed Caregiver- Young Husband who has Aggressive Cancer & Treatment

[Thogmyr]

Hello! I always feel like things turn for the better after I ask for prayers, so I thought I would head over here and ask for your prayers and any guidance you may have. I am going to try to keep this brief. In June, my husband was diagnosed with a rare and usually fatal cancer, called bile duct cancer or cholangiocarcinoma. If you read my previous posts, you can see how worried I am about him. By the grace of God, it was caught early enough to where he is able to have a liver transplant and offers him "decades". We are so incredibly grateful for this and he is currently on the transplant list and we are waiting for "the call" at a very reputable transplant center.

Here is where I am struggling. The last 8 months, I have been running on complete ADRENALINE and have been on a very fast moving train. During this time, I feel our marriage was really good and we became much closer. All of our decisions during this time were in this "flight or fight" space. Six weeks ago, we moved across the country with our two young kids and uprooted our lives to be close to the center. We are selling our home in our previous state, while renting a home about 25 minutes from the center. I am the sole income earner and am extremely worried about making ends meet right now. This is after cashing out most of my 401k and donations. We have applied for Disability, but that takes time. Now that the "train has slowed down a little bit, I'm starting to process my emotions. I'm extremely homesick, feeling like we made a giant mistake by making such a bold move (thinking we should have short-term rented here), but my husband was really eager to be here longer term. I'm exhausted, I can't sleep, and feel the weight of the world. I know it sounds extremely selfish to say this, but I am feeling a lot of anger and resentment. My husband talks about starting a new life here where I never committed to that. I committed to be here for the treatment to save his life and being here through his recovery, which should be the main focus right now. I feel so isolated from family, friends, and the joy of living a "normal" life. It feels my wants and desires do not matter at all when I bring up my sadness or vision for the future. There's so much more context, but essentially he has always been "in control" and is a big risk taker. Perhaps it's gotten even more intense because things feel so out of his control right now. I truly do empathize with that but I just don't feel reciprocation in the support I've given him (again another common theme even before diagnosis). When I bring up my concerns, it's a lot of dismissing or even lashing out at me, which makes me feel very alone. I don't think he realizes that cancer affects everyone in the family. His, mine, our children, our parents who miss us dearly.

I am seeing my therapist and part of a caregiver support group. Looking for any perspective and prayer to get through this difficult time as I am really struggling. I'm really trying to get out of this highly anxious and negative state of mind, especially knowing he can get transplanted at any time. Thank you!

 

[Articles]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your heartfelt situation. We are here to pray with you and offer biblical guidance during this challenging time.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge the immense pressure and stress you're under. The Bible tells us to "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7 WEB). It's encouraging that you're already seeking support through therapy and a caregiver group.

Regarding your marriage, it's clear that you both are under tremendous strain. It's important to remember that God calls us to "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2 WEB). Marriage is a union where both should support and uplift each other, especially in times of crisis. It's understandable that your husband may feel out of control due to his diagnosis, but it's crucial to address the dismissal and lashing out. "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God also in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31-32 WEB). We will pray for God to help you both through this trying time with grace and patience.

Concerning your feelings of homesickness and isolation, remember that God is your ultimate comfort. "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1 WEB). It's important to communicate openly with your husband about your feelings and the impact of the decisions made. Prayerfully consider the words in Proverbs 15:22 WEB, "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors, they are established."

Regarding financial worries, trust that God will provide. "But seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33 WEB).

Lastly, it's crucial to acknowledge Jesus Christ in your prayers. "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" (1 Timothy 2:5 WEB).

Let us pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We lift up ### and her husband to You, in the name of Jesus. We pray for Your healing hand upon her husband, and Your comfort and strength for ### as she cares for him and their family. We pray for open communication, understanding, and unity in their marriage. We ask that You guide their decisions and provide for all their needs according to Your riches in glory. Help them to cast all their anxieties on You and trust in Your faithfulness. We pray that their hearts will be filled with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

We are glad that you reached out in the name above all names, Jesus. If you ever feel this way again, do not hesitate to come for prayer and counsel.

 

[hostadmin]

Dear Thogmyr,

We're here with you, praying and walking alongside you through this challenging journey. We understand the overwhelming weight you're carrying, and we want you to know that you're not alone.

Firstly, we're so grateful for the glimmer of hope you've found in your husband's diagnosis and the possibility of a liver transplant. We're praying for a swift and successful process, and for God's healing hand to be upon him.

We feel your homesickness and the isolation you're experiencing. Remember, even when you feel far from loved ones, God is always near. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18 NIV). Let's pray for God to comfort you and fill you with His peace that transcends all understanding.

We're also sensing the strain in your marriage, and we're praying for open communication and understanding between you and your husband. It's okay to feel frustrated, but remember, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV). We're asking God to help you both to love each other in these trying times.

Financial worries can be overwhelming, but remember, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22 NIV). Trust that God will provide for your needs.

Lastly, we're praying for wisdom and guidance as you navigate through this. "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you" (James 1:5 NIV).

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Keep trusting, keep hoping, and keep praying. You're in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this request in Jesus Name.

 

[Dan T]

Heavenly Father, you are Jehovah Shalom, our God of Peace and we thank You for your constant companionship. We lift this person to you and request you to fill her with your Spirit of Shalom. Lord, You are the source of perfect peace, and we ask that You quiet every worry, every fear, and every anxious thought within her. We ask you to show her how beautiful she is and fill her heart with your love for her, and bring unity, joy, and blessings into her life. We ask this in Jesus’ name and ask you to allow her to walk through this period with continual thanks and praise to you. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. God Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleansed me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Transform and renew my mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by Encourager Linda Flagg, M.A., Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

 

[Cinu]

Lord, we pray for this prayer and family for blessings healing and salvation. Heal and bless. May their lives be a praise and glory unto thee.
Come to the Lord's holy presence. Seek him with all your heart. Cling to his Word and meditate on it moment by moment by positive thoughts and joy in the heart (James 1:2-4), knowing that the Lord is good and to him be all the praise. Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Even though life may feel hard, the Lord's hand will be on you, and he will answer in his time. I am praying for you. Amen.

Some resources that might help.

Needs: - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19(KJV)

Salvation: - So they said "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved you and your household." Acts 16:31(NKJV)

Healing: - But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5(NKJV)

Fulfillment by the Holy Spirit: - Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6(KJV)

Persecutions: - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28(KJV)

Help in Prayer

Dwelling and Thriving in God’s grace where everything happens for good (Romans 8:28)

Pray that the Lord may open the eyes of the nations affected by coronavirus (Specifically forces against God’s people)


sermons

Be a Prayer Warrior: “Praying for others”

 

[I am She]

Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We continue to lift you and your husband up in prayer, dear sister in Christ. We are honored that you have allowed us to stand in agreement with you in this challenging time. If the Lord has answered your prayers in any way, we would be delighted to hear your praise report and rejoice with you. If you are still waiting for his answer, we want to assure you that we are here to persist in prayer with you.

We have been praying for your husband's complete healing and recovery, for the Lord to envelop your family in his peace and comfort, and for you to feel his presence and strength as you navigate this trial. May the Lord bless you and keep you,may he shines his light into your lives and through you into other lives. We have also been praying for your marriage, that the Lord would strengthen your bond and give you both the patience, understanding, and love needed to support each other through this time. We ask that he provides for your family's every need, not just financially, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

We pray that the Lord would guide your husband's medical team, that they would make wise decisions and that his transplant would be a success. We ask that the Lord would prepare your family for the transplant, that he would give you all calm and steadfast spirits, and that he would give your husband the strength to recover swiftly and fully.

Please know that you are not alone in your struggle. We are here with you, praying and believing for the Lord's best for your family. We pray that you would feel our love and support, even from afar. We ask that the Lord would remind you of his goodness and faithfulness, that he would help you to cast your anxieties on him, and that he would fill you with his perfect peace.

In Jesus name we pray!