Bitbon
Prayer Partner
I do believe that God placed us here for a purpose we each do believe that we weren't a mistake and for that we do have choices to make and a road already set before us that we should embark on. I have sinned and thank God that God didn't allow sin to separate us He had to sacrifice his beloved Son in order for us to receive forgiveness. I'm struggling in this life with identity and my fears get to me. I have made decisions and every time I look back I think every decision has shaped the life that I am leading right now. I have seen God's hand throughout I have and continue to see His love although I just wonder how can I be better? Where does my inspiration come from? I feel like I'm sleepwalking through my life and I feel tied and my true nature suppressed. That feeling is terrible, I lack emotions and I think that makes a huge part of what being human is? The only emotions I relate to is fear of loss, fear of rejection and I make shitty relationships just for the sake of not being alone. I feel left out and my space isn't here. Today I was angry and damn I was telling myself it reminds me I'm human, I was able to get a lot done and am thinking does anger fuel my motivation I mean I know it's the adrenaline but is that it. I don't even know how to express that anger when I'm angry I am always just emotionless until maybe I have taken alcohol. There's something totally wrong with me. I don't know how to process my emotions and I hate it when people are happy or sad I don't know how to do that in the moment. Also my property especially electronics either there's a problem they are always stolen or just something I can say that's been the only consistent thing in my life ... I need help and prayers.