JEW
Prayer Warrior
Not long ago I requested a prayer request for myself about some issues I was having with my Mother in-law, due to her always throwing things up in my face about my grown children. I have wonderful kids,they have good jobs and support themselves, but she can always find fault about them, and does not hesitate about throwing it up to me, not my husband. She will not say anything around him. i failed to mention why to you that she does this. Years ago, she wanted my husband to build her a home next to ours and she was going to move here so we could look after her. She was about age 70, and she is 92 now. She gave my husband some money to start building, and then she let her daughter talk her out of moving here, although her daughter is a 3 hr. drive from her, and of course we live 350 miles away from her. But at the time her daughter was not even coming to see her but maybe 6 times a year and she lives so much closer than us. My husband's father died in the early 80's, so my husband and I have drove back and forth and kept her home up ever since then. I mean major work on it. She has lived in that home for more that 60 years, so a lot of work has had to be done on it through the years. My husband is the kind of guy that can do anything, form electrical to plumbing, to building to painting, sheet rocking, you name it, and he can do it. But he always depended on me to help him. But last year after being at her home and working and over doing myself, I came home with sciatica in the left side of my my back and legs. The doctor's have tried everything on me and nothing is working. The pain has not let up. Since then, she became very ugly to me because i cannot help my husband as much at her house as I used to. Now she does not know that my problem happened when i was working at her house. I did not tell her because i did not want to make her feel bad that it happened at her house. She begin to throw stuff up in my face about the money she put on the house here next to us and that we owe her to keep up her house, and even said if she ever needs money, we owe her that. She has even told people that we took her money. If she had not thought she wanted to move here we would not have another house to keep up and pay taxes and insurance on. It is very inconvenience and expense for us to have it. Now she only gave my husband about $25,000.00 to start that house. Well, we had to take out of our household money {and at the time i needed a car and had to do without} and finish building that house with our own 2 hands, because we could not afford to hire someone. My husband and i have to keep it up, as well as ours and hers and he is 72 years old. She has gotten very upset with me because i cannot help my husband on her house very much any more, due to my back problem. She will not say anything in front of my husband to me, only when he is not around, because she thinks if i do tell him that she can lie her way out of it, and he will believe her instead of me. So most of the time i hold it in, until it makes me literally sick, to keep peace in the family. It is like she is in a battle just to show me that she is going to keep her son on her side. Now believe me, no matter how ugly she is to you, she is the kind of woman who demands respect. And i have always respected her, even though it is getting harder and harder. I am 70 and i have some very bad health problems, and she takes advantage of me, and trys to beat me in the ground. When we go visit her, I always buy the food, do every bit of the cooking, and a good bit of cleaning for her, and that still isn't enough. Her daughter comes every few weeks and takes her grocery shopping and that is all she does. She cooks for her daughter when she comes, but says she is not able to cook for us, but that does not bother me because i am one that does not want someone to wait on me anyway. Sometimes we take her out to eat several times while we are there, at our expense. We pay for the materials to fix up her home a lot of times. We feel that she has a grudge over the money she gave toward that house to be started, and then she backed out, which was not our fault. She uses it to throw it up in my face, when i had nothing to do with it. I was afraid my husband was going to get burn about it anyway, but kept my mouth shut, because after all she was his Mom and at the time i thought she would need someone to look after her someday. If she thinks i get something new she thinks it comes from her measley $25,000 she gave toward that house and gets very jealous, and does not want us to buy our kids anything, because it is in her head that we are using her money. The rent money we get for that house goes into a seperate account to keep that house up only. She never takes into consideration that every time someone moves out that i have to go in and clean it, and my husband has repairs on it, and insurance and taxes to pay. He keeps it nice, but some renters have left owing us rent money on it, that we never received, and basically have torn it up several times. Once he almost had to gut it and start over. She knows all of this, and says sell it, but she does not take into consideration that it is on the corner of our property, and we have to give up a part of our land that we do not want to give up. She messed us up bad, when she said she wanted to move here, and we were very willing to bring her here and look after her, but yet she never lets go of the grudge she holds about the money she gave toward it. She is very well off with money, and will never need anything, but she wants everything for free, and does not want to spend any of her money. She thinks we owe her a living. She basically wants her kids to keep her up, although she is loaded with money. When we give our children something, we don't expect it back, an do not throw it up in their face. I would appreciate any input on this. Someone has said i need to get my husband to talk to her. Believe me, it will only do harm to me if he does. She will be even meaner to me then when he is not around. She is a mean person, and i am afraid of her alone, even at 92 years old. She is tough. I am not. Sometimes i wish i was more aggressive. I try very hard to keep peace with her, because of my husband. He works hard when he is there and i do not want him upset, because he has several serious health issues also. I do not want him getting sick up there and we wind up having to stay longer. I would stay home and let him go alone, but it is a long trip and he needs me for support. Please pray for this situation. We have to go soon to do some more work for her. Please pray for my nerves while i am there, and that God will intervene and deal with her about her attitude toward me. And any suggestions are appreciated.
