Anonymous
Beloved of All
warning: this is LONG! But I am praying some people will read it anyway!
What I am about to tell you, it is a very serious and weighty confession. I am not proud of it in the slightest and don't like having to say it, and I am hoping for, if not understanding, then at least a small amount of empathy, so that you can pray for me as I covet. But as you will probably see, that might be a bit much to ask for. I only come here confessing this for the sole intent of being lifted up by my brothers and sisters across the world, to avail myself of the freedom that Jesus promises.
So here is the story: I am a guy, and seemingly sometime within approximately the last 10-15 years, I have somehow become what is called a misogynist. I am highly annoyed by women. I get annoyed looking at them, hearing their voices, seeing their feminine way of dress, everything. I often catch myself trying to be rude or confrontative with a woman, just to get her to spark back at me, which somehow justifies to myself in my mind that I can be even ruder to them and get more angry with them. I, reprehensibly, have even caught myself before realizing that when I hear about men being hurt, killed, taken advantage of, or treated unfairly in any way, I feel much more sympathy for them than I do when I hear about the same things happening to women. Almost anything that annoys me, when it annoys me, I picture a woman's face.
Before you fall to the temptation to judge me harshly for this, please understand I DO NOT want to be this way! I don't even know *why* I'm that way. (although I have suspicions) I don't want that despicable part of myself to exist; it needs Jesus healing. 1st John says if you hate your brother (i.e. *anyone*) and say you love God then you're a LIAR and the love of God is not in you! That is NOT the person I wanna be! I want to love everyone, male and female like I am supposed to as the Christian I claim myself to be. I am realizing I will never be able to have any ministry that God calls me to... or even spread the Gospel! How do you do that when nigh-on half of your receiving group is a certain type you can't stand?!
Before anyone asks, I have given my life to Christ (sometimes I wonder I FULLY have, considering stuff like this), and have been a believer for almost 30 years. I have received the Holy Spirit (or at least thought I had), and have been baptized. God has made me a very compassionate person (I am very emotionally sensitive, love animals greatly, and love to help people and see them happy), but somehow, that part of me has not reached over into this other very fleshly part of me, and squelched it. It is frustrating and confusing having such a dichotomy exist inside me.
This is long enough so I'll end it. In conclusion, I want to ask you all to pray fervently for me that Jesus somehow reaches into my soul and HEALS and delivers me from this and yanks it out of my soul! It is very stressful and tough to live with, and I want it gone! I don't see any other way it will go away except by Jesus doing what only he can do!
I pray HUGE blessings upon all of you brothers and sisters for praying for me! you don't know how much it means to me!
What I am about to tell you, it is a very serious and weighty confession. I am not proud of it in the slightest and don't like having to say it, and I am hoping for, if not understanding, then at least a small amount of empathy, so that you can pray for me as I covet. But as you will probably see, that might be a bit much to ask for. I only come here confessing this for the sole intent of being lifted up by my brothers and sisters across the world, to avail myself of the freedom that Jesus promises.
So here is the story: I am a guy, and seemingly sometime within approximately the last 10-15 years, I have somehow become what is called a misogynist. I am highly annoyed by women. I get annoyed looking at them, hearing their voices, seeing their feminine way of dress, everything. I often catch myself trying to be rude or confrontative with a woman, just to get her to spark back at me, which somehow justifies to myself in my mind that I can be even ruder to them and get more angry with them. I, reprehensibly, have even caught myself before realizing that when I hear about men being hurt, killed, taken advantage of, or treated unfairly in any way, I feel much more sympathy for them than I do when I hear about the same things happening to women. Almost anything that annoys me, when it annoys me, I picture a woman's face.
Before you fall to the temptation to judge me harshly for this, please understand I DO NOT want to be this way! I don't even know *why* I'm that way. (although I have suspicions) I don't want that despicable part of myself to exist; it needs Jesus healing. 1st John says if you hate your brother (i.e. *anyone*) and say you love God then you're a LIAR and the love of God is not in you! That is NOT the person I wanna be! I want to love everyone, male and female like I am supposed to as the Christian I claim myself to be. I am realizing I will never be able to have any ministry that God calls me to... or even spread the Gospel! How do you do that when nigh-on half of your receiving group is a certain type you can't stand?!
Before anyone asks, I have given my life to Christ (sometimes I wonder I FULLY have, considering stuff like this), and have been a believer for almost 30 years. I have received the Holy Spirit (or at least thought I had), and have been baptized. God has made me a very compassionate person (I am very emotionally sensitive, love animals greatly, and love to help people and see them happy), but somehow, that part of me has not reached over into this other very fleshly part of me, and squelched it. It is frustrating and confusing having such a dichotomy exist inside me.
This is long enough so I'll end it. In conclusion, I want to ask you all to pray fervently for me that Jesus somehow reaches into my soul and HEALS and delivers me from this and yanks it out of my soul! It is very stressful and tough to live with, and I want it gone! I don't see any other way it will go away except by Jesus doing what only he can do!
I pray HUGE blessings upon all of you brothers and sisters for praying for me! you don't know how much it means to me!
Let's lift up 
Pray for 
Let's pray for 
Hadroth requests healing for eye floaters.
Plus, let's cover four unspoken requests from Anonymous.
