My Testimony and My Thoughts, Prayers, and Fears

[Paroxyromai]

My Testimony and My Thoughts, Prayers, and Fears Hi all, The host admin has asked me to share my testimony about my situation and the blessings I’ve experienced through it. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to open my heart and seek your prayers. This testimony condenses events that began on November 9th and have continued up to December 21st. On November 9th, I encountered a man on a Discord server who was connected to my ex-girlfriend Maeve’s brother. Maeve’s brother and I are friends, but this man turned out to be another of Maeve’s ex-boyfriends. As we talked, we discovered we shared strikingly similar personalities. Unfortunately, in a moment of bitterness and immaturity, we decided to bully Maeve on the server. This led to her leaving the server and asking her brother to block both of us. However, I wasn’t blocked on any platform. At that time, my walk with God was far from where it needed to be. I was abusing alcohol, marijuana, and pornography to cope with my struggles. My buried wounds from my relationship with Maeve and its aftermath resurfaced, and I was consumed by bitterness and anger. But that night, after the bullying incident, I couldn’t sleep for three nights straight. I didn’t eat for a week. The weight of my actions crushed me, and I was compelled to reflect deeply on my behavior during our relationship and the fallout. I came to a humbling realization: I was not blameless. I had been bitter, angry, vitriolic, cruel, and selfish. I reread the last message I sent Maeve three years ago, which effectively ended any hope for closure or reconciliation. It broke me. To this day, I refuse to read or share that message again because of the shame it brings. I recalled how, in the past, Maeve had reached out to me, only for me to coldly respond, “I don’t respect you anymore.” And now, years later, she was being bullied online by two of her ex-boyfriends. My actions were inexcusable. I knew I needed to apologize—not to rekindle anything, but simply to make things right and seek closure. Now I see that the Holy Spirit was convicting me and leading me toward repentance. After weeks of therapy and prayer, I finally sent Maeve a heartfelt apology. She read the message but deleted her response before I could see it. I later learned that she told her brother he could no longer speak to me but could still talk to the other ex-boyfriend, even though logically speaking, it should be the other way around. Rationally, you would expect her to distance herself from the person she dated more recently, especially since they broke up only seven months ago, while Maeve and I ended our relationship three years ago. This left me confused and hurt, as her reasoning didn’t seem to follow any logical pattern. I fell back into abusing marijuana to escape the pain, but it only brought more memories to the surface. One night, I was overwhelmed with confusion, sadness, and anger. I sat alone in my basement, crying out in desperation: “Why, Lord? Why does she haunt my mind? Tell me what to feel!” In that moment, I was struck by a profound and pure emotion: love. But it wasn’t selfish or lustful—it was agape love, selfless and unconditional, yet romantic in nature. This left me unsettled. Why would I feel this way about someone who had been out of my life for years? I prayed in Jesus’s name for guidance, and the next morning, I woke up to a direct message from a reverend on Discord. He told me he felt called to reach out to me and asked to hear my story. After prayers and deliberation, he told me, “She will come to you, but you have to wait. Pray for her salvation and for God to illuminate your path.” I struggled to believe this at first—it seemed impossible. Yet, over the next few days, two more individuals (a Catholic friend and my Christian therapist) independently told me the same thing: “She will come to you. Pray and wait.” That same day, my Bible app verse of the day was 2 Corinthians 13:1: “Every matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” At that moment, I knew God was speaking to me. I began praying daily in Jesus’s name, and my vices of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography fell away. God’s grace sustained me, even when I felt weak. I poured my heart into praying for Maeve’s salvation, my growth, and guidance for our paths. Since then, the Lord has continued to work in amazing ways. Chloe, a childhood friend I had a falling out with, reconnected with me and revealed that she was in contact with Maeve. Chloe confirmed that Maeve had seen my apology and shared that she was planning to visit Canada for Christmas. Astonishingly, Chloe even offered to act as a bridge and mediator between us, without me prompting her. Now, as I wait, I am finding myself struggling with impatience and fear. Chloe has not yet reached out to Maeve, and while I desperately want to push things forward, I know I cannot force it. No matter how much I want to take control, I need to surrender this situation entirely to the Lord. I pray in Jesus’s name that Chloe reaches out to Maeve soon, that Maeve is receptive to talking, and that we have a long, cathartic conversation where we both understand each other’s perspectives. I pray in Jesus’s name that this conversation brings clarity, and that we look at each other and see that there is another chance here. I tell all of you—and the Lord—that if He gives me another chance with her, I will never screw it up to the point I did before. I ask that you pray for me, for Chloe, for Maeve, and for all these aspects. I’m desperate and would love to hear His voice again. Thank you, host admin, for giving me the chance to share my story, and thank you all for praying for me. The days are coming sooner and sooner, and I am afraid. God bless you all.

 

[Articles]

We are grateful for your heartfelt testimony and for seeking our prayers. We commend you for your honesty and your desire to align your life with God's will. We will address your situation with biblical principles, prayer, and guidance.

We see that, with God's help, you have turned from your old ways. God has heard your prayers and has already worked in your life, freeing you from the bonds of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography.

Firstly, we must highlight the importance of praying in Jesus' name. You mentioned that you prayed in Jesus' name, which is wonderful. For the avoidance of doubt, it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. There is no other name by which we can be saved. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB. This is important as we have no access to God aside from Jesus Christ.

Next, we want to address the relationship with your former girlfriend. We see that you both have a complicated history, and there are unresolved feelings. First, we must say that the relationship in the past was considered fornication and you are right to pray for purity in the future. It's important to remember that God's design for relationships is that they are to be between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Heb 13:4 WEB.

Your situation regarding Chloe is also important. It should be clear that Chloe's role here should be only to help the situation of both of you and Maeve becoming reconciled. She should not become a "relationship partner" or romantic interest but possibly a Godly wife for you, which should be your goal if you're interested in her. Do not plan or seek an adulterous or unmarried relationship with her or anyone besides a wife.

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth." This should be our heart's cry, even in difficult situations. We pray that God's will be done in your life and in the lives of Maeve and Chloe.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our brother in his struggles and desires. We thank You for the work You have already done in his life, freeing him from past addictions and sins. We pray for continued purity in his life. We also thank you for the conviction that he received in the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus' name that You continue to renew his mind and heart. We pray against the fear and impatience he feels. If it is in alignment with your will then, Lord, we pray that Chloe will be used by you to be a good help in the situation. If it be thy will we pray that the conversations they all have will be guided by the Holy Spirit, bringing clarity, understanding, forgiveness, and healing. If it is thy will, we pray for the grace needed to wait on Your timing and for the strength to surrender the situation entirely to You.

We also pray that both of these women will also seek Your face and turn to You in all areas of their lives. We pray for any barriers in the way of Maeve that prevents her from seeing the forgiveness she can have in Jesus Christ. We ask all these things in Jesus' name and thank you for the answers.

Lord, we also pray for Godly marriages for all parties involved with all the characteristics of a Christian marriage where all parties are Christians.

Your will be done.

Amen.

 

[Paroxyromai]

We are grateful for your heartfelt testimony and for seeking our prayers. We commend you for your honesty and your desire to align your life with God's will. We will address your situation with biblical principles, prayer, and guidance.

We see that, with God's help, you have turned from your old ways. God has heard your prayers and has already worked in your life, freeing you from the bonds of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography.

Firstly, we must highlight the importance of praying in Jesus' name. You mentioned that you prayed in Jesus' name, which is wonderful. For the avoidance of doubt, it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. There is no other name by which we can be saved. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB. This is important as we have no access to God aside from Jesus Christ.

Next, we want to address the relationship with your former girlfriend. We see that you both have a complicated history, and there are unresolved feelings. First, we must say that the relationship in the past was considered fornication and you are right to pray for purity in the future. It's important to remember that God's design for relationships is that they are to be between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Heb 13:4 WEB.

Your situation regarding Chloe is also important. It should be clear that Chloe's role here should be only to help the situation of both of you and Maeve becoming reconciled. She should not become a "relationship partner" or romantic interest but possibly a Godly wife for you, which should be your goal if you're interested in her. Do not plan or seek an adulterous or unmarried relationship with her or anyone besides a wife.

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth." This should be our heart's cry, even in difficult situations. We pray that God's will be done in your life and in the lives of Maeve and Chloe.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our brother in his struggles and desires. We thank You for the work You have already done in his life, freeing him from past addictions and sins. We pray for continued purity in his life. We also thank you for the conviction that he received in the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus' name that You continue to renew his mind and heart. We pray against the fear and impatience he feels. If it is in alignment with your will then, Lord, we pray that Chloe will be used by you to be a good help in the situation. If it be thy will we pray that the conversations they all have will be guided by the Holy Spirit, bringing clarity, understanding, forgiveness, and healing. If it is thy will, we pray for the grace needed to wait on Your timing and for the strength to surrender the situation entirely to You.

We also pray that both of these women will also seek Your face and turn to You in all areas of their lives. We pray for any barriers in the way of Maeve that prevents her from seeing the forgiveness she can have in Jesus Christ. We ask all these things in Jesus' name and thank you for the answers.

Lord, we also pray for Godly marriages for all parties involved with all the characteristics of a Christian marriage where all parties are Christians.

Your will be done.

Amen.

I don’t know where you got fornication from that we didn’t have sex??? And I never mentioned anything sexual with her?????????? Please stop making assumptions that aren’t even contextually applicable

 

[hostadmin]

We're here for you, and we're glad you've shared your story. We've been praying for you, and we want to encourage you with these words from Psalm 147:3 - "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." We believe that God is in the process of healing and restoring your heart. Keep seeking Him, and trust in His timing.

We also want to remind you of the importance of forgiveness. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." We encourage you to continue working on forgiving those who have wronged you, and also to seek forgiveness from those you've wronged.

Lastly, we want to pray for you. Lord, we come before you today, lifting up our brother in his struggles and desires. We thank you for the work you've already done in his life, freeing him from past addictions and sins. We pray for continued purity in his life, and for the grace to wait on your timing. We ask that you would give him peace in the midst of uncertainty, and that you would guide and direct his steps. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

 

[Paroxyromai]

We are grateful for your heartfelt testimony and for seeking our prayers. We commend you for your honesty and your desire to align your life with God's will. We will address your situation with biblical principles, prayer, and guidance.

We see that, with God's help, you have turned from your old ways. God has heard your prayers and has already worked in your life, freeing you from the bonds of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography.

Firstly, we must highlight the importance of praying in Jesus' name. You mentioned that you prayed in Jesus' name, which is wonderful. For the avoidance of doubt, it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. There is no other name by which we can be saved. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB. This is important as we have no access to God aside from Jesus Christ.

Next, we want to address the relationship with your former girlfriend. We see that you both have a complicated history, and there are unresolved feelings. First, we must say that the relationship in the past was considered fornication and you are right to pray for purity in the future. It's important to remember that God's design for relationships is that they are to be between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Heb 13:4 WEB.

Your situation regarding Chloe is also important. It should be clear that Chloe's role here should be only to help the situation of both of you and Maeve becoming reconciled. She should not become a "relationship partner" or romantic interest but possibly a Godly wife for you, which should be your goal if you're interested in her. Do not plan or seek an adulterous or unmarried relationship with her or anyone besides a wife.

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth." This should be our heart's cry, even in difficult situations. We pray that God's will be done in your life and in the lives of Maeve and Chloe.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our brother in his struggles and desires. We thank You for the work You have already done in his life, freeing him from past addictions and sins. We pray for continued purity in his life. We also thank you for the conviction that he received in the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus' name that You continue to renew his mind and heart. We pray against the fear and impatience he feels. If it is in alignment with your will then, Lord, we pray that Chloe will be used by you to be a good help in the situation. If it be thy will we pray that the conversations they all have will be guided by the Holy Spirit, bringing clarity, understanding, forgiveness, and healing. If it is thy will, we pray for the grace needed to wait on Your timing and for the strength to surrender the situation entirely to You.

We also pray that both of these women will also seek Your face and turn to You in all areas of their lives. We pray for any barriers in the way of Maeve that prevents her from seeing the forgiveness she can have in Jesus Christ. We ask all these things in Jesus' name and thank you for the answers.

Lord, we also pray for Godly marriages for all parties involved with all the characteristics of a Christian marriage where all parties are Christians.

Your will be done.

Amen.

I don’t know where you got fornication from that we didn’t have sex??? And I never mentioned anything sexual with her?????????? Please stop making assumptions that aren’t even contextually applicable

We are grateful for your heartfelt testimony and for seeking our prayers. We commend you for your honesty and your desire to align your life with God's will. We will address your situation with biblical principles, prayer, and guidance.

We see that, with God's help, you have turned from your old ways. God has heard your prayers and has already worked in your life, freeing you from the bonds of alcohol, marijuana, and pornography.

Firstly, we must highlight the importance of praying in Jesus' name. You mentioned that you prayed in Jesus' name, which is wonderful. For the avoidance of doubt, it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. There is no other name by which we can be saved. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB. This is important as we have no access to God aside from Jesus Christ.

Next, we want to address the relationship with your former girlfriend. We see that you both have a complicated history, and there are unresolved feelings. First, we must say that the relationship in the past was considered fornication and you are right to pray for purity in the future. It's important to remember that God's design for relationships is that they are to be between a man and a woman within the bounds of marriage. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled: but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Heb 13:4 WEB.

Your situation regarding Chloe is also important. It should be clear that Chloe's role here should be only to help the situation of both of you and Maeve becoming reconciled. She should not become a "relationship partner" or romantic interest but possibly a Godly wife for you, which should be your goal if you're interested in her. Do not plan or seek an adulterous or unmarried relationship with her or anyone besides a wife.

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray, "Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, as in heaven, so on earth." This should be our heart's cry, even in difficult situations. We pray that God's will be done in your life and in the lives of Maeve and Chloe.

Let's pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up our brother in his struggles and desires. We thank You for the work You have already done in his life, freeing him from past addictions and sins. We pray for continued purity in his life. We also thank you for the conviction that he received in the Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus' name that You continue to renew his mind and heart. We pray against the fear and impatience he feels. If it is in alignment with your will then, Lord, we pray that Chloe will be used by you to be a good help in the situation. If it be thy will we pray that the conversations they all have will be guided by the Holy Spirit, bringing clarity, understanding, forgiveness, and healing. If it is thy will, we pray for the grace needed to wait on Your timing and for the strength to surrender the situation entirely to You.

We also pray that both of these women will also seek Your face and turn to You in all areas of their lives. We pray for any barriers in the way of Maeve that prevents her from seeing the forgiveness she can have in Jesus Christ. We ask all these things in Jesus' name and thank you for the answers.

Lord, we also pray for Godly marriages for all parties involved with all the characteristics of a Christian marriage where all parties are Christians.

Your will be done.

Amen.

also I have no romantic interest in Chloe again please stop making these kind of assumptions when contextually they make no sense I really don’t have to put a disclaimer directed at you each time I post as it’s getting nerve wracking on how you consistently make these assumptions to the point I have to tell you to stop I get that you are doing this for a lot of other people but cmon man it’s getting ridiculous