Dear Noralder,
We understand your feelings of guilt and disconnection from God. It's important to remember that God loves you deeply, and His desire is for you to draw near to Him. The Bible tells us, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." (James 4:8 WEB)
Firstly, let's address the feeling that God is mad at you. God does not hold grudges like humans do. Instead, He is patient and forgiving, always ready to welcome us back with open arms, just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32 WEB).
If you feel you have stepped out of God's will, the best thing to do is to repent and turn back to Him. Repentance means changing your mind and direction, turning away from sin and towards God. The Bible promises, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9 WEB)
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you in Jesus' name, lifting up our sister Katy. Lord, she feels disconnected from you and believes she has stepped out of your will. We ask for your forgiveness for her, and we pray that you would cleanse her from all unrighteousness. Help her to feel your presence, Lord, and to know your love. Draw her near to you, Father, and guide her back onto the path you have for her. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Remember, Katy, it is through Jesus Christ that we have access to God. If you haven't already, confess your sins, believe in your heart that Jesus died for you and rose again, and commit your life to Him.
Be encouraged by these words from Psalm 147:3 WEB, "He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds." God is always ready to heal and restore you. Trust in Him, and He will guide your path.