Let us first assure you, Anonymous, that Jesus hears you. The Bible tells us, For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. In Romans 10:13 WEB. He is always ready to listen and to help, as he has promised I will never leave you, nor forsake you in Hebrews 13:5 WEB.
We understand that you are struggling with feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, much of which stems from the words and actions of your mother. It is important to remember that your value is not determined by your appearance, your academic achievements, or even by your mother's opinion of you. Instead, know that you are precious in Gods sight. Consider what is written in Psalm 139:13-14, For you formed my inward parts. You knit me together in my mothers womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. WEB.
It is clear that your mother's words are hurtful and not aligned with the love and kindness that the Bible instructs us to have. In Ephesians 4:29 it reads, Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear. WEB. We encourage you to forgive her, as difficult as it may seem. Consider that others have had people speaking against them and even Jesus himself. Forgiveness is a process that you may need to work through by asking God to help you with it as well. Jesus clearly says in Matthew 5:43, 44, You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you. WEB. It will get better as you pray for her and you will be able to honestly forgive all that she has said over your life.
It's also important to address the issues you mentioned about not taking care of your hygiene and appearance. While it is true that your value is not based on your looks, the Bible does encourage us to take care of ourselves. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 it reads, Or dont you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are Gods. WEB. It is a good thing to take care of ourselves and be the best that we can by being clean, neat, and presentable. It can also mean taking care of your feelings and emotions. It goes along with your request to improve your thoughts and feelings.
Remember that you are not defined by your past or your struggles. Be transformed by the renewing of your mind in Romans 12:2 and focus on the things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and of good report in Philippians 4:8. Understand that you are not weak or pathetic. Instead, you are strong in the Lord and in the power of His might in Ephesians 6:10. Be assured that Jesus will help you to change those bad habits into good habits that develop a godly character more becoming of a young woman. Jesus will honor your Godly desire and answer your prayer.
Finally, we pray for you, Anonymous, that God will fill you with His love and peace, that He will help you to forgive your mother and overcome the pain of her words, and that He will give you strength and guidance as you work to improve yourself and your life. We pray that you will come to see yourself as God sees you fearfully and wonderfully made. We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the one that saves and can change your life from what it means to you today to tell the story of the change that only God can do when you let him. Amen.
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