My Mom passed in my arms on ...

[Johnsstarry sky]

My Mom passed in my arms on Jan 12th, I have been praying and praying for Gods help with this pain but to no help. My heart is torn to pieces, it no longer feels like a home, nore a family. Mom was my best friend, I took care of her for three years with her parkinsons. What makes things worse is that I was at the hospital every single moment, I blame myself and the hospital for my Moms death, I feel like I murdered my beautiful Mom. The ER said we didnt need to put her in the hospital as everything looked good other than a UTI infection, I decided to put her in the hospital for a couple of days, while there the hospital let her asperate which caused phneumonia and sepsis. I prayed the hardest I have ever prayed in my life at the chapel, infact one night my crying was so loud that a security guard came in to see if I was alright. I have so much guilt over this, I sleep now in Moms bed with my fourlegged babies, I sleep on the pillow that my Mom passed on, I sleep with her ashes by my side. I've aged at least 15 years in my looks, I have lost over 12 pounds of weight. I find myself praying on walks at 2am by myself while I look to the sky. On top of this, we lost my Moms income, and I lost my income for taking care of her here at our apt. I'm so lost and destroyed that I dont even pray for a job or money because I couldnt care less about it. This coming week I have to bring my four legged kid into the vet to have xrays done on her chest and her heart and blood test done because she needs to have surgery in another week for a fatty tumor on her back thigh. I'm so scared that this world will take my baby away from me as well. I love God and his son Jesus Christ, I thank him for everything and everyone I have in my life and I thank him for him above any of them or what I have. However after what happened to my Mom and watching her suffer and watching her take her last few breaths while i was alone with her in Hospice holding her head and her hand, I find myself conflicted. One minute I love God and the next I'm scared of him thinking hes out to destroy what I have left for my family and my heart. I'm scared that he will let my little baby girl dog die or find something bad in her test from the doctors. I'm scared that my partner will subcomb to his COPD and his Prostrate cancer. You see my Mom was the only one who understood me, accepted me. and really really loved me. My Mom and I went shopping together, we went on rides together, we decorated together, we went on walks together, and we talked about old times and all the great memories. My Mom loved these two four legged girls as if they were her own, the one Miss Kelly would always lick Mom like crazy in the face and the other one Miss Copius would always lick the food off of Moms face and hands. I keep asking God to let the Rapture happen real soon so I'm not apart from my Mom for long. After 20 years of being together my partner and I dont see eye to eye no more, and Mom made this place feel like a home, she gave me life in many many ways. Now I barely talk to my partner, I sleep with my fur girls, I hardly ever go out anymore to shop accept for the bare essentials because its not the same. I eat once a day and its take out as I dont even feel like cooking no more. For me I feel like I'm walking in hell already while being alive, I dont see the light at the end of this storm, I dont care about myself no more, but I do care about my two fur girls and my partner. Please pray for little Copius the one who goes in to the Vet this week and has surgery next week, and pray for her sister Kelly who i love so much as well, and pray for my partner no matter what. This is the worst storm, the worst pain and grief I have ever gone through, my lips and cheeks get chapped from all the crying and my chest often times hurts from it as well. Thank you, John Lee

 

[ANNA REN]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[MissJ]

I am sorry for your loss dear sister. I am praying for you.It might seem like a lot at the moment ( and it really is) but god is always with us.I'll keep you in my daily prayer.I also pray for your furbabys.Dear father please comfort this child of yours and give her hope and peace again.Thank you.

 

[natasha2]

I dont know if You are a woman or a man because of your name John but i do sympathize with You with all my heart. If You need a friend i Will be for You on the chat whenever i can. Please dont give up. Its a very difficult time but my heart is with you crying. You touched me. I bless you and your fury friends and your partner in Jesus name. Let God BE your healer, your deliverer, your helper, your comforter, your divine partner in time of your great sorrow and guilt. God i ask You in Jesus name to wash away all the tears from her face, all the sorrow from her heart and BE her comforter in Jesus name. God give her peace, joj of salvation and comfort on every side. God, miracolously heal all her pats and her partner from every sickness, desease and evil deposit of the enemy in their bodies in Jesus name. God You Said on your Word that you are good and loving God and that you taken away all our sins so far away as the east is far from the West, especially if we repent for our sins. God, please let the feeling of guilt be soaked in your healing and forgiveness presence in the name of Jesus. Wash John Lee in the Blood of Jesus from every evil spirit of regret, sorrow, death and destruction in Jesus name. God please manifest yourself in her/his life as God the Father, as father and mother in Jesus name. Cut off any ungodly soultie between her and any evil spirit that is tormenting her in the name of Jesus. Death and destruction come out of that family and BE cast into the sea in Jesus name! Let your healing power and your strong presence heal and establish good and positive thinking and relationships in that family in the name of Jesus. God thank you for your mercy and grace for helping our sister/Brother tremendeously in this situation. We thank you for your goodness Lord, amen. God loves and we love You, i bless your heart, John Lee!!

 

[Isabelle10]

Praying

 

[BlessMeFatherGod]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[kaye hirst]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Tan Popatas]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[inHisMariaPerez]

My Mom passed in my arms on Jan 12th, I have been praying and praying for Gods help with this pain but to no help. My heart is torn to pieces, it no longer feels like a home, nore a family. Mom was my best friend, I took care of her for three years with her parkinsons. What makes things worse is that I was at the hospital every single moment, I blame myself and the hospital for my Moms death, I feel like I murdered my beautiful Mom. The ER said we didnt need to put her in the hospital as everything looked good other than a UTI infection, I decided to put her in the hospital for a couple of days, while there the hospital let her asperate which caused phneumonia and sepsis. I prayed the hardest I have ever prayed in my life at the chapel, infact one night my crying was so loud that a security guard came in to see if I was alright. I have so much guilt over this, I sleep now in Moms bed with my fourlegged babies, I sleep on the pillow that my Mom passed on, I sleep with her ashes by my side. I've aged at least 15 years in my looks, I have lost over 12 pounds of weight. I find myself praying on walks at 2am by myself while I look to the sky. On top of this, we lost my Moms income, and I lost my income for taking care of her here at our apt. I'm so lost and destroyed that I dont even pray for a job or money because I couldnt care less about it. This coming week I have to bring my four legged kid into the vet to have xrays done on her chest and her heart and blood test done because she needs to have surgery in another week for a fatty tumor on her back thigh. I'm so scared that this world will take my baby away from me as well. I love God and his son Jesus Christ, I thank him for everything and everyone I have in my life and I thank him for him above any of them or what I have. However after what happened to my Mom and watching her suffer and watching her take her last few breaths while i was alone with her in Hospice holding her head and her hand, I find myself conflicted. One minute I love God and the next I'm scared of him thinking hes out to destroy what I have left for my family and my heart. I'm scared that he will let my little baby girl dog die or find something bad in her test from the doctors. I'm scared that my partner will subcomb to his COPD and his Prostrate cancer. You see my Mom was the only one who understood me, accepted me. and really really loved me. My Mom and I went shopping together, we went on rides together, we decorated together, we went on walks together, and we talked about old times and all the great memories. My Mom loved these two four legged girls as if they were her own, the one Miss Kelly would always lick Mom like crazy in the face and the other one Miss Copius would always lick the food off of Moms face and hands. I keep asking God to let the Rapture happen real soon so I'm not apart from my Mom for long. After 20 years of being together my partner and I dont see eye to eye no more, and Mom made this place feel like a home, she gave me life in many many ways. Now I barely talk to my partner, I sleep with my fur girls, I hardly ever go out anymore to shop accept for the bare essentials because its not the same. I eat once a day and its take out as I dont even feel like cooking no more. For me I feel like I'm walking in hell already while being alive, I dont see the light at the end of this storm, I dont care about myself no more, but I do care about my two fur girls and my partner. Please pray for little Copius the one who goes in to the Vet this week and has surgery next week, and pray for her sister Kelly who i love so much as well, and pray for my partner no matter what. This is the worst storm, the worst pain and grief I have ever gone through, my lips and cheeks get chapped from all the crying and my chest often times hurts from it as well. Thank you, John Lee

 

[inHisMariaPerez]

I speak peace and comfort to your sou in Jesus name. Amen.