R
renew_me78
Guest
Hi , I am Melissa, single mother of two beautiful son's. One is 7, his name is Clayton and I was blessed with another son he just turned two, Clayton named him, Dominick.
I am a survivor of both physical abuse and sexual abuse. And sadly my son is too, after holding it in for a year and a half, my son and I openly were speaking about influences in our lives... And I asked him, if he knew what the word INFLUENCES meant, he stated ' what he has heard, been told, shown, and things done to him.' Smart boy! I was quite curious about the last part of his statement but spaced myself off and asked him what other influences he's had from friends, and On Feburary 26th, 2008 my heart and entire world came crashing down... My seven year old son had been sexually abused(in a gay boy on boy manner), the one thing I still feel bad about as that, it had happened to me, but I still feel I could have prevented it... My son just continued to ramble off in our talk, everything that 13 year old boy did to him, and how that boy touched Dominick while changing his diaper... The thought of knowing Clayton will remember this, all of it, breaks my heart... I after that insightful talk with my son called the department of human resources, and made the report... Then while balling, I contacted his anger management counsoler and explained what he told me, and that I was willing to take all the measurements, and not be silented... Our Police force did not press further charges, I found out after the final report was made that it was this boys second affense... and due to dominick not being able to talk that well all we had... Was one confirmed and founded case, because the boy was 13 too young to be put on the sex offenders list!
I am a very pro-active parent, This teenager got to walk away scott free... Well his 14th birthday falls on the 28th of this month, september! And i am fully ready to re-open the case due to the steps in healing we(meaning the sexual abuse coun., and i) have many new revalations of more that has happened to clayton that cannot, and I won't allow them to overlook... This boy was sexually abused in the gay manner and has been 'supposively' working with a therapist, but he needs more help then that to stop the cycle!
So that is my work in progress, with everything in me, as a survivor, healing, a parent, and a single mom with two absentee fathers doing it on my own, to protect my children, seek justice, and protect other people too... I am hear, to scream it on the top of my lungs until this boy is recognized as a repeated sex offender...
Sorry's don't cover it, I held it in for 13 years before i ever told my parents what my uncle's did to me, and other men family friends... Silence is too damaging...
Our recovery, healing is one day at a time, I am not angered by this anymore, I am hurt from the denial of my town's police force and the inability to realize it happens at any age, each gender, and if we continue to stay ignorant, we continue to damage... I believe in prevention...But honestly this has made me a fighter,& a lot stronger! The hardest parts for me, is the pain and still feeling that Clayton should of been warned from me, about kids hurting kids, but I've learned from this... Sickness not resolved at the source, predators can be children acting out, or someone you trusted and loved...
I am forgiving, but not forgeting JUSTICE will be served!
so this is the new me, without prepartion, not being silenced, weakness my kids, strong because of them...
I have been holding onto all of this on my own, and due to One special friend of mine, she reminded me that I always have faith.. and in re-finding myself close to God, my strength will be restored...
I need the strength to continue protecting, and cultivating my little family of three.... I feel like if its not one thing, it is the ignorance of others built upon lies to knock me back down...
I give up, let go and try again... But my emotions are unable to withstand all these challanges... I have hope, but sometimes well most the time that is not enough...
I ask not in silence anymore , I need help, I need to be renewed... I am long over due tired of all this struggling, my children deserve to live happy lives, I do too...
I can't handle the demons of others anymore....
I am a survivor of both physical abuse and sexual abuse. And sadly my son is too, after holding it in for a year and a half, my son and I openly were speaking about influences in our lives... And I asked him, if he knew what the word INFLUENCES meant, he stated ' what he has heard, been told, shown, and things done to him.' Smart boy! I was quite curious about the last part of his statement but spaced myself off and asked him what other influences he's had from friends, and On Feburary 26th, 2008 my heart and entire world came crashing down... My seven year old son had been sexually abused(in a gay boy on boy manner), the one thing I still feel bad about as that, it had happened to me, but I still feel I could have prevented it... My son just continued to ramble off in our talk, everything that 13 year old boy did to him, and how that boy touched Dominick while changing his diaper... The thought of knowing Clayton will remember this, all of it, breaks my heart... I after that insightful talk with my son called the department of human resources, and made the report... Then while balling, I contacted his anger management counsoler and explained what he told me, and that I was willing to take all the measurements, and not be silented... Our Police force did not press further charges, I found out after the final report was made that it was this boys second affense... and due to dominick not being able to talk that well all we had... Was one confirmed and founded case, because the boy was 13 too young to be put on the sex offenders list!
I am a very pro-active parent, This teenager got to walk away scott free... Well his 14th birthday falls on the 28th of this month, september! And i am fully ready to re-open the case due to the steps in healing we(meaning the sexual abuse coun., and i) have many new revalations of more that has happened to clayton that cannot, and I won't allow them to overlook... This boy was sexually abused in the gay manner and has been 'supposively' working with a therapist, but he needs more help then that to stop the cycle!
So that is my work in progress, with everything in me, as a survivor, healing, a parent, and a single mom with two absentee fathers doing it on my own, to protect my children, seek justice, and protect other people too... I am hear, to scream it on the top of my lungs until this boy is recognized as a repeated sex offender...
Sorry's don't cover it, I held it in for 13 years before i ever told my parents what my uncle's did to me, and other men family friends... Silence is too damaging...
Our recovery, healing is one day at a time, I am not angered by this anymore, I am hurt from the denial of my town's police force and the inability to realize it happens at any age, each gender, and if we continue to stay ignorant, we continue to damage... I believe in prevention...But honestly this has made me a fighter,& a lot stronger! The hardest parts for me, is the pain and still feeling that Clayton should of been warned from me, about kids hurting kids, but I've learned from this... Sickness not resolved at the source, predators can be children acting out, or someone you trusted and loved...
I am forgiving, but not forgeting JUSTICE will be served!
so this is the new me, without prepartion, not being silenced, weakness my kids, strong because of them...
I have been holding onto all of this on my own, and due to One special friend of mine, she reminded me that I always have faith.. and in re-finding myself close to God, my strength will be restored...
I need the strength to continue protecting, and cultivating my little family of three.... I feel like if its not one thing, it is the ignorance of others built upon lies to knock me back down...
I give up, let go and try again... But my emotions are unable to withstand all these challanges... I have hope, but sometimes well most the time that is not enough...
I ask not in silence anymore , I need help, I need to be renewed... I am long over due tired of all this struggling, my children deserve to live happy lives, I do too...
I can't handle the demons of others anymore....
