Dema , the Lord never meant for you to carry all of your worries , turn them all over to Him and trust Him to help you , the enemy of your soul wants you to take your life because he wants to take you to hell with him . Dear one , your situation isย not hopeless , you have an all powerful , all mighty God who is on your side , all we need to do is to trust in what we cannot see , but to trust His heart . God will never fail you , just believe in His timing and don't loose faith . Blessings !