I appreciate all that you have said expressing your desire to have a closer communication and contact with God and that is commendable.I can see that you truly love the Lord.God in His graciousness to mankind has orovided a way to get closer to Him.He has done His part by sending His only begotten Son Jesus Christ to die in order to lurchase our redemption. The cost was the blood of Jesus Christ which money could not buy.This came with great sufferings .Jesus taught the attitude and lived a life of servitude as well as obscurity. Yet he was the only begotten of the Father.
Jesus is still reaching out to us.He is still pleading for our misgivings.The ball is now in our courts to play our part.He is there to help us through this rocky road of life but ee have to shun the Devil and recognize his attacks.We must not yield to the Devil.Let us all come boldly to the throne of grace while time is extended to us and reach out to Jesus who is reaching out to us and is smiling at every progrss that we make.I hrar the determination in your expression and may God keep you as you press towards the mark of the higher calling which is only in Jesus Christ alone.God bless you and keep you in al your ways.