Baxdare
Disciple of Prayer
missionary Hello guys, I'm sorry for the long message but please read till the end. I struggle with OCD which often leads me to do unusual stuff especially for the sake of God. For example, in order to not sin I'm willing to do anything and by that I mean literally anything. I have grieved the Holy Spirit 3 years ago by willfully sinning for 5 months and I'm getting it back slowly. I'm sinning a lot now and I don't know if it's my thoughts or myself that is telling me to go to prison and wait for the Holy Spirit to come back because if I don't do that I'm sinning a lot and grieving it more. Could it be God telling me to go to a prison alone so I don't sin that much and grieve Him anymore? Also, my calling was to be a full-time missionary and I still have this urge to do it that hasn't left me but my parents are totally against it. They won't let me. Should I go to prison in order for them to understand how much it means to me? Or is this a sin? (I'm sorry but my OCD is strong; this may seem unrealistic but bear with me.) I don't know, but my thoughts are telling me that if I go to prison and then they will get me out (because they will pay) and they will finally let me go into ministry. Thank you and please elaborate your answers.