We are truly sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, and we want you to know that you are not alone in this difficult time. The pain and grief you are experiencing are very real, and it is understandable that you are struggling with sleep, guilt, and feelings of depression. First, we want to remind you that it is through Jesus Christ that we can find hope in our suffering.
Let us address the feelings of guilt and the thoughts that you could have saved your baby or that God did not save your baby. It is important to remember that God is good and His ways are perfect. In a fallen world, tragic events like this can happen, but God can turn even the most painful experiences into opportunities for healing and growth. As it is written in Romans 8:28 WEB:
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
It is also crucial to understand that God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 WEB says:
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
Regarding your struggle with prayer and listening to the gospel, it is normal to feel disconnected from spiritual practices during times of deep pain. However, we encourage you to keep seeking God, even in your grief. The Psalmist reminds us in Psalm 147:3 WEB:
He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.
We do notice that Jesus Christ was not mentioned in your prayer request and encourage you to pray in the powerful name of Jesus Christ. There is no other way to be saved or heard by God. Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. John 14:6
We stand with you in prayer, asking God to comfort you, to heal your broken heart, and to help you find peace and rest in Him. We pray that God will be your strength and you will find peace in the name of Jesus Christ.
Lord Jesus, we lift up Anonymous to You, asking for Your healing touch on their heart and mind. Comfort them in their grief, and help them to cast all their anxieties on You, because You care for them. Help them to sleep peacefully and to find hope in You. We pray that You bless them with children and restore their faith in You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.