Thank you Michael for reaching out and sharing your situation. We understand the heartache you are feeling. Unfortunately for you, Michael, our response may not be what you were looking for. It must be stated that you had a relationship that broke up that is now in God's eyes fornication and it is expressly forbidden in the bible. You cannot claim to love her as this love is not following biblical principles. For instance, as written "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things." Let these words from Philippians 4:8 guide your thoughts and actions. Instead, you are committing a sinful lifestyle. We can help pray for the errors of your ways to be corrected with her and the both of you. Please stand corrected in your sin.
Both of you must pursue a lifestyle worthy of a child of God. Love your neighbor as yourself and let this holy loving kindness guide your life.
Courtship should be the goal towards the goal of marriage, rather than getting together. In God's eyes, if not married, then your goal should be marrying and courting towards this goal of getting married.
Furthermore, getting back together to "get back to eat other again" should not be an object of your desires or thoughts. No kind of relationship or even thoughts of impure sexual relations is not allowed outside of marriage. See First Corinthians 6:9 where it says "Or don't you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexual." These people will have their place in the lake of fire if unrepentant. In fact you were not a boyfriend but an adulterer in God's eyes. Our compassion for you leads us to tell you of your error and hopefully have you reconciled to God and lead to repentance for your error. The whole world now rests in the wicked one and things that the world sanctions such as being a boyfriend with a girlfriend are unrighteous before a holy God. See 1 John 5:19 "We know that we are of God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one." You may be very heartbroken in your spirit, but it must be acknowledged that you broke the law of God. As it is said in James 4:4 "You adulterers and adulteresses, don't you know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." We know you have a fleshly lust for a girlfriend and relationship, but must be in agreement that these are Godly principles that we have no choice in except to uphold. If this is indeed something you do not wish to hear about the truth of God, then we hope it is brought to your remembrance, "that God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." from John 3:17. This means God's Word must be proclaimed so you are not in any way condemned and possibly saved as needed. We know this condemnation can bring you and possibly her to God in order to forgive.
Also, we know our response is direct, but we encourage both of you to believe in Jesus. Have you and Nomzamo believed and asked Jesus into your life as the only one that saves you? See, "The LORD is my strength and my song. He has become my salvation." Exodus 15:2. For there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." Acts 4:12. This is our primary concern for you both is salvation from sins through Jesus Christ. There is no other way, except Jesus. Make sure to pray that Nomzamo if not a believer be prayed for the eyes of her heart be opened and able to see the Lord Jesus Christ and believe as her Lord and savior.
It is only then can the both of you begin a full and everlasting relationship that looks forward to a spouse, marriage, a wife, and a family that loves God together. A marriage has a commitment and duty to raise Godly children with Godly principles from the Word of God. In the flesh, it is impossible to look forward to something like this, but through Jesus Christ all things are possible. As a practical matter to pray about, reconciliation and relationship of this kind cannot be done unless Jesus Christ is involved. As it is said in Matthew 19:26 "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." We know that the things of the world will not satisfy and we know that only God can fill the emptiness of the heart. We pray for a full knowledge and understanding of God for the both of you. We know it is only when understanding the Lord that true understanding of others can happen. True love comes only from God and His Word the Holy Bible. It is impossible to receive eternal life except through the belief in the One who has given His life for your sake. This is what must be seen clearly. As Jesus says, "All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth." in Matthew 28:18. The way this is stated implies that the One who has the authority can allow or give it to another and it was implied that this was to Jesus Christ alone who has this authority. In fact we know it to be the case by comparing to Acts 4:12 which says the following. "In no other is there salvation, for there is not any other name that we would call for us under heaven to be saved." The other name has been translated in other words, but it is important to state it as "we would call for us under heaven to be saved" in the World English Bible (WEB) translation. The reason we mention this is we know this confession that Jesus Christ is the only salvation, has to come to a realization on behalf of both the saved and the damned in heaven and the pit.
Do not forget. He knows the reality and not just spoken or implied words with empty feelings. He can and must be known. You do not want Jesus Christ saying to you and possibly her: Matthew 7:21-23: "21Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will tell me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in your name, in your name cast out demons, and in your name do many mighty works?' 23Then I will tell them, 'I never knew you. Depart from me, you who work lawlessness.'" Just believing in an unknown Jesus as is typical to an acquaintance from far away is not believing at all. You would be denied by Christ if He does not know you. Seek God and truly believe and know him and know his righteousness.
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