Marriage

[Zoreah]

Hello, this is my first time using this site, so I hope I'm doing this correctly. Here's some history on my marriage: I've been married for 14 years, & we dated 3 years prior to marriage, so we've been together for a total of 17 years. We were Christians before we met & having Christ first has been a priority to us both. We've had our share of problems like any marriage does. One of the bigger issues for me was that my spouse cheated on me with 3 different people about a year after we were married & was secretly working with a lawyer to file for divorce. This happened when he was on deployment here in the U.S., & I was able to drive & visit him just about every other week at that time. He was convicted by God for adultery & that was shortly before I actually caught him cheating. I prayed on whether I should stay in this marriage & God told me to read Hosea. I never read Hosea before & was shocked by the story. I took that as God telling me to stay & that was 12 years ago. We've worked through all that & it has not been an easy task. There have been little hiccups along the way, although nothing as detrimental as physically or mentally cheating, but reasons for trust not to be fully restored, a breakdown in our intimacy, & a lack of understanding in our communication. I've cried, I've prayed, & I have reached out to God many times about my marriage. I don't believe I'm perfect by any means, I have my faults---I could be sweeter, less harsh when speaking about issues between us, give more words of affirmation, be better at listening & not get loud when I get upset during conversations. I can honestly say that I actually have worked on these things & I can still improve. I'm able to listen to criticism or grievances because first, my confidence is found in God & second because, I know I could always improve. I'm always growing. I truly make an effort & work on improving & growing in a manner that creates an environment that allows us to coexist, build trust & flourish. I have been faithful, communicative, honest, & I seek help when needed. I don't play games, shut down, get overly or easily angered or try to manipulate my spouse to do my will. I'm honestly trying my best to have a good marriage, one that helps us mature in our ability to get along. My spouse says that he loves me deeply & wants the same thing; however, due to his upbringing he struggles with communicating, dealing with healthy conflict, hearing any complaint or grievance, understanding emotions & feelings. I have prayed for God to rebuild our hearts, to give us new hearts in which to operate a better & greater relationship, one in which wisdom controls our steps, communication flows, trust is fully restored & understanding comes easier to us both. I deeply desire a relationship that others could look to for inspiration & hope. I just feel like I'm getting nowhere. There doesn't seem to be any growth as I'm dealing with the same exact behaviors from my spouse that I was dealing with 12 years ago---not the cheating, but the stonewalling instead of communicating [I know I'm not supposed to deal in absolutes but this is not an exaggeration, as he has admitted to me that he likes to be chased, but, literally, I ALWAYS have to go to him first to ("build a bridge," of communication is what I call it) connect or work on fixing whatever issue is causing him to not want to speak to me. And if I don't go to him & bring up the issue, he will not talk to me for weeks. If we do have to talk before we deal with the problem, he will never bring up the issue & we'd have to pretend that everything is normal & fine. I'm REALLY TIRED of doing THIS, it's exhausted me to a point where I don't care to deal with any issues if he's not going to make an effort to communicate & work on solving problems also. It can't continue to be only me making the effort to "build a bridge," as it's left me feeling like I'm making him stay in this marriage], not being honest with me, not taking responsibility for his actions, doesn't like being held accountable, he's always the victim somehow, he can't deal with ANY grievances, doesn't treat me as an equal partner, operates as two instead of one, doesn't want to be humble & he doesn't see that "bury it & let it fester" (that's his term that he jokes about when it comes to dealing with conflict, but sadly he actually does this) causes a bitter weed to grow up between us. I don't want any weeds, I want better, not bitter. I'm just exhausted & I feel like giving up, but my heart doesn't really want to. I just know that I can not continue to deal with these same behaviors. I mean, I don't want to deal with these things when I'm 80 years old & I've told him all this, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I just need prayer for all these things. Prayer for us both to rebuild our hearts in such a way that allows for a better relationship, a truly Christ-centered relationship, a relationship that is full of communication, trust, understanding, love, real connection, true intimacy & a deep heartfelt friendship---this is what I desire & my spouse wants this as well, but doesn't know what that truly requires in order to obtain these things. I pray for kindness, wisdom & discernment for us both & I would love more prayer because I know it can't hurt to ask for God's help. So, if anyone feels inclined to help out in this effort to pray for God to rebuild our hearts & fix us both so we can have a marriage that glorifies God & brings happiness to our hearts, I would be eternally grateful! Thank you so much, & may God bless you!

 

[Articles]

We are truly grateful for your heartfelt sharing and your desire to seek God's will in your marriage. It is evident that you both have a strong foundation in Christ, and that is a powerful bond that can help you overcome the challenges you're facing.

Firstly, we want to acknowledge your courage and faithfulness. You have shown remarkable strength in forgiving and working through the past infidelity, and it's clear that you have a deep commitment to your marriage.

We must remember that God hates divorce, He says in Malachi 2:16 Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

In addressing the current struggles, it's important to remember that God calls us to love one another as He has loved us. This love is patient, kind, and keeps no record of wrongs, as stated in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

It's crucial to address the communication issues and the lack of effort from your spouse in resolving conflicts. In Ephesians 5:25-33, husbands are called to love their wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, and wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual love and respect are key to a healthy marriage. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it.

Your spouse's behavior of stonewalling and avoiding conflict is not aligned with biblical principles. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus teaches us how to handle grievances: Moreover if your brother sins against you, go tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he will not listen, take with you one or two more, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.

We encourage you to continue praying and seeking God's guidance. Pray that God softens your spouse's heart and opens his eyes to the need for better communication and conflict resolution. Pray for wisdom and discernment for both of you, as James 1:5 advises: But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Let us pray together:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You, lifting up this marriage and asking for Your divine intervention. We thank You for the faithfulness and commitment that has been shown, and we ask that You continue to strengthen and guide this union.

Lord, we pray for a breakthrough in communication. Help them to speak openly and honestly with each other, and to listen with understanding and empathy. We pray for growth from past events and hurts. Remove any bitterness or resentment, and replace it with love, forgiveness, and trust.

Father, we ask that You rebuild their hearts, giving them new hearts that are open and responsive to each other and to Your will. Help them to operate as one, with wisdom guiding their steps, communication flowing freely, trust fully restored, and understanding coming easily.

We pray for kindness, wisdom, and discernment for both of them. Help them to have a marriage that glorifies You and brings happiness to their hearts.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

We would like to address the issue of the name of Jesus. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am the Christ; and shall deceive many. (Matthew 24:5)

But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name. (John 20:31)

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. (Acts 4:12)

 

[hostadmin]

Dear friend,

We've been reading your heartfelt post and we want you to know that we're standing with you in prayer. It's amazing to see the strength and resilience you've shown in your marriage, especially after the hurt and betrayal you've faced. We're grateful for your commitment to seeking God's will and working through your challenges.

We understand that it can be exhausting when it feels like you're the only one putting effort into your marriage. It's like you're always the one reaching out, trying to build that bridge of communication, while your spouse seems content to stay in their own space. We get that it's hard, and it's okay to feel tired and frustrated. God sees your efforts, and He's right there with you.

We want to encourage you to keep praying and seeking God's guidance. In Ephesians 6:18, we're told to "pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." Keep lifting your marriage and your spouse up to God. Ask Him to soften your spouse's heart, to open their eyes to the need for better communication and conflict resolution, and to give both of you wisdom and discernment.

Remember, God is a God of restoration and redemption. He can take even the most broken things and make them new again. Trust in His love for you and your marriage. Keep holding onto hope, and keep fighting for your marriage.

We're here for you, and we're praying for you. Let's keep lifting your marriage up to God together.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

P.S. We're with you in spirit, so no need to mention our name or the group's name. Just know that we're here, praying with you and for you.

 

[Brother James]

Hello, this is my first time using this site, so I hope I'm doing this correctly. Here's some history on my marriage: I've been married for 14 years, & we dated 3 years prior to marriage, so we've been together for a total of 17 years. We were Christians before we met & having Christ first has been a priority to us both. We've had our share of problems like any marriage does. One of the bigger issues for me was that my spouse cheated on me with 3 different people about a year after we were married & was secretly working with a lawyer to file for divorce. This happened when he was on deployment here in the U.S., & I was able to drive & visit him just about every other week at that time. He was convicted by God for adultery & that was shortly before I actually caught him cheating. I prayed on whether I should stay in this marriage & God told me to read Hosea. I never read Hosea before & was shocked by the story. I took that as God telling me to stay & that was 12 years ago. We've worked through all that & it has not been an easy task. There have been little hiccups along the way, although nothing as detrimental as physically or mentally cheating, but reasons for trust not to be fully restored, a breakdown in our intimacy, & a lack of understanding in our communication. I've cried, I've prayed, & I have reached out to God many times about my marriage. I don't believe I'm perfect by any means, I have my faults---I could be sweeter, less harsh when speaking about issues between us, give more words of affirmation, be better at listening & not get loud when I get upset during conversations. I can honestly say that I actually have worked on these things & I can still improve. I'm able to listen to criticism or grievances because first, my confidence is found in God & second because, I know I could always improve. I'm always growing. I truly make an effort & work on improving & growing in a manner that creates an environment that allows us to coexist, build trust & flourish. I have been faithful, communicative, honest, & I seek help when needed. I don't play games, shut down, get overly or easily angered or try to manipulate my spouse to do my will. I'm honestly trying my best to have a good marriage, one that helps us mature in our ability to get along. My spouse says that he loves me deeply & wants the same thing; however, due to his upbringing he struggles with communicating, dealing with healthy conflict, hearing any complaint or grievance, understanding emotions & feelings. I have prayed for God to rebuild our hearts, to give us new hearts in which to operate a better & greater relationship, one in which wisdom controls our steps, communication flows, trust is fully restored & understanding comes easier to us both. I deeply desire a relationship that others could look to for inspiration & hope. I just feel like I'm getting nowhere. There doesn't seem to be any growth as I'm dealing with the same exact behaviors from my spouse that I was dealing with 12 years ago---not the cheating, but the stonewalling instead of communicating [I know I'm not supposed to deal in absolutes but this is not an exaggeration, as he has admitted to me that he likes to be chased, but, literally, I ALWAYS have to go to him first to ("build a bridge," of communication is what I call it) connect or work on fixing whatever issue is causing him to not want to speak to me. And if I don't go to him & bring up the issue, he will not talk to me for weeks. If we do have to talk before we deal with the problem, he will never bring up the issue & we'd have to pretend that everything is normal & fine. I'm REALLY TIRED of doing THIS, it's exhausted me to a point where I don't care to deal with any issues if he's not going to make an effort to communicate & work on solving problems also. It can't continue to be only me making the effort to "build a bridge," as it's left me feeling like I'm making him stay in this marriage], not being honest with me, not taking responsibility for his actions, doesn't like being held accountable, he's always the victim somehow, he can't deal with ANY grievances, doesn't treat me as an equal partner, operates as two instead of one, doesn't want to be humble & he doesn't see that "bury it & let it fester" (that's his term that he jokes about when it comes to dealing with conflict, but sadly he actually does this) causes a bitter weed to grow up between us. I don't want any weeds, I want better, not bitter. I'm just exhausted & I feel like giving up, but my heart doesn't really want to. I just know that I can not continue to deal with these same behaviors. I mean, I don't want to deal with these things when I'm 80 years old & I've told him all this, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I just need prayer for all these things. Prayer for us both to rebuild our hearts in such a way that allows for a better relationship, a truly Christ-centered relationship, a relationship that is full of communication, trust, understanding, love, real connection, true intimacy & a deep heartfelt friendship---this is what I desire & my spouse wants this as well, but doesn't know what that truly requires in order to obtain these things. I pray for kindness, wisdom & discernment for us both & I would love more prayer because I know it can't hurt to ask for God's help. So, if anyone feels inclined to help out in this effort to pray for God to rebuild our hearts & fix us both so we can have a marriage that glorifies God & brings happiness to our hearts, I would be eternally grateful! Thank you so much, & may God bless you!

Praying for you and your husband in Jesus.

Do you Believe Jesus died for our sins, is Risen from the dead, is Preparing a place for us and is about to call us to join Him?

Are you watching for Jesus in the Clouds of Glory? Jesus is about to call us to join Him!

We can do everything Jesus did and more! We can speak; sickness leave in Jesus! Be healed by Jesus stripes! I am healed by Jesus stripes! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

You can copy and paste this to pray every day and share...

There is nothing that happens for us that is bad. All things work for our good in Jesus! Look at everything as good!

Sing through out your days Thank You Jesus, Praise You Jesus, Glory to You Lord Jesus or anything that is on your heart to sing to Jesus! It doesn't matter how we sound, Angels will join in with us and Jesus will join in with us as well as fight for us, knock down walls for us, open locks for us, save people for us, evil will flee from us, He heals us and He will over flow His Holy Peace in us.

Praying for others on here and reading your Bible will help you tremendously.

I wanted to commit suicide once, I even came up with a plan. Right before I headed out the door I posted a prayer on here and hoping there might be help from God one last time I opened the Bible and only read take no thought for your life. I read that before at least 100 times but never really could understand how. This time I took it to heart, all right God I will end my life by not thinking about it. I take no thought, I take no thought, I take no thought over and over and over again I take no thought was my only thought that day. All of a sudden I noticed something, Jesus showed up, all my pains were gone, no neck ache, no back pain, no leg pain from many many accidents I had over the years and no pain in my heart as my wife had left me. I started singing praises and thanks to Jesus and my life has never been the same. It is our obedience to God from His Holy Instructions that makes a difference to His Power of His Promises in our lives.

Be a doer of Jesus friend, it really makes a difference! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Search the Bible for Jesus' Promises friend, do them and claim them in Jesus! Amen! Thank You Lord Jesus!

Powerful healing promise hidden in Proverbs 3:7-8, I am not wise in my own eyes, I fear You Lord, I depart from evil, especially my own evil thoughts and my flesh is healed and my body is refreshed in Jesus.

Praying for others especially in your situation will help you tremendously in yours friend.

Take no thought for your life dear friend and Jesus will take thought for you. Sing praises and thanks to Jesus and He will overflow His Holy Spirit in you and so much more. He will fight for you and give you the desires of your heart.

Pray this prayer look up the verses and pray it again with your friends and family and let's mount up with wings as eagles and soar. Soar with me.

Let Us Pray: God I ask in Jesus' name, bless me to grow closer to You. I long for a more intimate relationship with You. God I take You at Your Word, if I will draw closer to You, You will draw closer to me (James 4:8). Show me how to draw closer to You. Bless me daily to cast off and forsake my thoughts and ways for my life, and exchange them for Your thoughts and ways for my life. Let me think Your thoughts and dream Your dreams for my life. God bless me to live and walk in Your love, mercy and forgiveness (Isaiah 55:7). I confess, I will take no thought for my life. I will trust You Father God to take thought for me and take care of me (Mathew 6:25-34). I will not be wise in my own eyes, I will fear You Lord and depart from evil and my flesh will be healed and my body will be refreshed (Proverbs 3:7-8) daily. Thank You Jesus for Your Promises! Lord make me the Child of God You need me to be in Christ for all those around me and for the world to see (Psalms 128:3). Not by my might, nor by my power, but by Your Spirt Christ Jesus (Zechariah 4:6) this shall happen. And it will happen, it is happening now in Your timing, Power, Strength, Might, and Spirit, Christ Jesus. God all that I have asked of you in this prayer please do the same for all those I love, care about, and every faithful prayer warrior on this site. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You Lord Jesus, my Savior and Lord for answering this prayer with a Yes and Amen.

Bless us to sing praises and thanks to You Lord Jesus so You can fill us with the wine of the Spirit in Jesus Name, Amen.

 

[I am She]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You. Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of Christ Jesus. Transform and renew my mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager, Woman of God, Prayer Warrior, Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

God Is In Control

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