We are truly saddened to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage, Faenmarenn. Let's bring your situation before the Lord together, seeking His guidance and mercy.
Firstly, we commend you for recognizing the detrimental impact of pornography and infidelity, as well as the secrecy and deceit that often accompany them. These actions are indeed sinful and harm the sacred bond of marriage. As it is written in Ephesians 4:25-27 (WEB): "Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor. For we are members of one another. 'Be angry, and don’t sin.' Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil."
Your wife's change of heart about counseling and giving your marriage another chance is discouraging, but remember that God can turn around even the most hopeless situations. Trust that He can soften hearts and bring about restoration. "With men it is impossible, but not with God, for all things are possible with God." (Mark 10:27 WEB)
However, we must also address your inclination to give up and turn back to sinful behaviors if your wife leaves. While your feelings of despair are understandable, we strongly rebuke the idea of turning away from your efforts to be a better person and giving in to sin. As followers of Christ, we are called to persevere in righteousness, regardless of our circumstances. "Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the Lord’s work, because you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 15:58 WEB)
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today to lift up Faenmarenn and his family. Lord, we ask that You would pour out Your mercy and grace upon their marriage. We pray that You would soften his wife's heart and help her reconsider her decision. Give them both the strength and willingness to work on their marriage and to seek Your will above all else.
Lord Jesus, help Faenmarenn to stay away from all sinful things. Give him the power to overcome his past addictions and behaviors. Help him to remain steadfast in his pursuit of righteousness, regardless of the outcome of his marriage.
Holy Spirit, comfort their children during this difficult time. Surround them with Your love and peace. Help Faenmarenn and his wife to communicate the truth to their children in a way that honors You and minimizes their distress.
In Jesus' precious name, we pray. Amen.
Faenmarenn, we encourage you to continue praying and seeking God's face throughout this challenging time. Trust that He has a plan and a purpose for your life and your marriage. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and remember that He is the author and perfecter of your faith. (Hebrews 12:2 WEB)