Anonymous
Beloved of All
Marriage: I’m afraid I am losing my husband over his evil mother. We don’t talk, he doesn’t care if I have no money, been married over 20 years this never happened we had always shared everything. We talk, laugh, do everything together. I know he’s not cheating neither am I. But his mother is filling him with lies. Now we don’t talk or see each other, we don’t call or text one another. We just go to work, come home, go to bed, no communication. My husband doesn’t want to see my boys that he raised because of his mom. My kids aren’t allowed to be in the house or near the house so I cannot talk or bring them over anymore. My mother-in-law is the only one allowed to come over. My mother-in-law has been telling my husband that I don’t want her around. That’s a lie, I just got tired of asking her to hang out with me and she makes up so many excuses of why she cannot hang out with me, she is always busy. So I decided never to ask or bother calling or texting because I realized it. She only calls, texts, or wants to or pretends to talk to me when she wants or needs something. Or she wants us to buy her things, it’s so sad she goes to church 3 hours every Sunday but when I tell my husband something about her or tell my mother-in-law the truth, she twists or lies to my husband, she never got my text or call. But I know in my heart that God sees all of it. I know there are times I get so angry at her because my husband believes his mother over me regardless of what it is. I am not allowed to talk to my husband about his mother, the second I say something about his mom I either be threatened to be beat up or he will leave me. So I got to the point that it doesn’t matter how hurtful I feel about the fact that my husband will never want to hear my side, because anything that comes out of my mouth is a lie to my husband. So I went from having a bubbly personality to be completely shut down to the point I keep my head down, I don’t say one word. Whatever my husband says or does I just agree without nothing against it even if I disagree I will agree regardless not sure if it’s out of fear of being dragged by my hair and thrown out of my own home, it happened before in front of my mother-in-law and my kids. Or fear of being punched in the face, or be left alone since I have no family. My parents passed away. My remaining siblings and I don’t get along, they always plan to beat me up and chase me out of any family gathering I am too honest for them. My husband always wants to hear drama about people getting screwed over I got tired of it. I like to hear positive things. Everything I don’t for my mother-in-law don’t mean anything to them. But it’s okay only God sees my heart and here it’s at. There are numerous times my husband goes on and on about I’m a liar, I don’t want my mother-in-law in our home. Accused me of wanting his money, I wasn’t sure if my husband did it on purpose to talk me into taking a low-paying job so he can make more than me and throws it in my face that he’s got so much money than me. If I knew I would’ve still kept my old job where I can work from 0600-0100 at least I know I make more than him and I be away from home for that long so I don’t get to hear or feel the abuse and the yelling so my entire neighborhood can hear. I know my neighbors are laughing at me every time I walk out my home I feel it because they hear everything my husband says to me he likes to yell so everyone in my neighborhood can hear he raised my two boys and that if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be anywhere. Granted I thank God for my husband he raised the boys well. But to throw it in my face 22 years later after he starts to make more than me. And to flaunt his wealth and constantly stating I’m nothing without him. I have zero balance in my account. I called out all week and lied to my boss I’m sick but it’s because I’m afraid I don’t have enough gas for work and driving to the gym. I gained weight from my accident and the stress my husband puts me through constantly calling me fat I don’t want to eat around him anymore I feel ashamed I start to starve myself. I hide from him I don’t want him to look at my fat self, so he can make me feel low when I am already down. We aren’t intimate anymore. I haven’t seen my husband’s face in 2 weeks. I hide upstairs in the room all day when he comes home he stays downstairs until bedtime. When he comes in I make sure the blanket is over my head. I have been just sleeping all day every day no exercise nothing. I don’t know what to do anymore. I pray the Lord for strength to rise up early every morning with a grateful heart and ready to workout and get in shape and praise him and always put him first no matter what my circumstance is. I may not have that much money and ways broke because I don’t know how to budget at least I know I have a good heart. I know right now my husband is thinking I am angry because I don’t have any money. But I’m not, only God knows my heart I’m okay and happy. I will take my recycling tomorrow morning so I can have some money for the weekend. I’m so hungry but it’s also okay I hope it will teach me to eat less and help get some of this almost 300lb weight I gained. God please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. And to keep my faith strong. It’s funny when I have money and I buy my husband things I know God sees in my heart I buy it with all my heart without even thinking twice for my husband to pay me back because I believe we are husband and wife what is mine is his what is his is mine. But unfortunately my husband doesn’t think that way. He feels he makes all the money and pays all the bills and I don’t contribute. For the first time we in over 20 years we have to split our bills now. For the 1st time. My portion is $### so as my husband. I only make $### because I pay for all the medical insurance, dental even when it’s coming out of my check I am not allowed per my husband to spend my HSA account that I contribute to for my high standard medical insurance for the family. I know Mother’s Day is coming up I don’t want to go anywhere to celebrate even if my husband asks, because I know he thinks I only want to eat and that’s the only way I’m going to be happy to go because I’m fat all I want is to eat, and he will also throw in my face that he spent money on me please pray he doesn’t do anything for me on Mother’s Day that he can spend it with his mom. I am okay with that, my husband has a hateful heart it’s all because of his mom he was never like that. I don’t want my husband to be potty on me. I am a survivor God built me this way. I was abused all my life, so I am built to withstand the pain and just keep a smile on my face in public and at work and pretend everything is okay. But I’m hurting inside, I used to talk to my husband about everything including his mother but not anymore. My husband was my best friend. He was everything but it’s okay I have God, he will always come before my husband no matter what. I pray that one day I will win the lottery all by myself. I do believe I will win the lottery all by myself one day. So I can help myself and people in need I am never greedy I love giving with all my heart. I don’t throw it back in people’s faces like my husband. He gets angry that he does good things and never sees anything back in return. I’m the opposite I don’t care all I care about is the person needs it more than I did and I am satisfied. God please guide my feet and my tongue, bless me at my job to be good at my job and find a better paying job soon. Bless me with the strength to get up every day regardless of time and weather to exercise and eat right to get myself back healthy for me only. And to cherish you in everything I do. I love you and thank you for keeping me sane and keeping my peace and happiness in my heart.
