We are truly saddened to hear about the pain and despair you're experiencing, Swantalelf. First, we want to assure you that you are not worthless. God created you with a purpose, and your life has immense value. In Jeremiah 29:11 WEB, God says, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future.
It's evident that you're feeling the weight of past mistakes and the pain of rejection. It's important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has hurt others at some point. The key is to learn from these experiences and grow. In Romans 3:23 WEB, it's written, for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God. However, the very next verse in Roman 10:13 WEB declares whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.
But there is one who did no wrong. He lived sinless, died on the cross for forgiveness of your sins and our sins. He died for all. It is only through him that you can have a relationship with God. Jesus Christ. In John 3:16 WEB For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.
Unfortunately, we can't control how others treat us, but we can control how we respond. The people you mentioned may have their own issues and hurts that are influencing their behavior. It's important to forgive them and come to a place where you pray for them. In Matthew 5:44 WEB, Yeshua says But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you.
If you havent already, you must first trust God with your life and know that God is that missing relationship. That God has been there when no one was there. He sees that you have been doing this alone. But you haven't been. This is what you need to understand, that the Father of all creation is there for you. He does not want you to perish but for you to have a relationship with him. The God of all Gods and all the heavens. He offers it to you freely and gives you much wisdom. In Matthew 22:37-39 it is declared Jesus said to him, Have mercy on the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. A second likewise is this, Have mercy on your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the prophets depend on these two commandments.
It's concerning that you feel so alone and that you're considering no longer being here. Please reach out to a local Christian counselor or pastor, or call a helpline if these feelings persist. God wants you to live through and pass through the trials and pain. There are people who care and want to help. Beyond everything you are feeling, God has not forgotten you. God wants life to be fulfilled. But we must seek him for help.
Regarding your relationships and your negative feelings you need to be encouraged by the word of God. Read the Psalms. It appears you are focused on the rejection because you wanted them to care and relate. The hardest relationships are often with family. We must show love even more for God wants us to know what we can again, understand the battle we all have waged is from our battles here in mortal life. Be patient and wait to work these things out. Not alone though, you need Christian brothers and sisters to help you transition to a good Christian life. You must be around those who are living righteously. You should be encouraging and offering each other the stories of success of hope and faith in God.
Regarding trying to figure out mistakes and starting a new family, we recommend spending time in God's Word and in prayer, seeking His will for your life. Ask yourself, "Am I interested in the things of God? Am I focused on following in the footsteps of Jesus? Am I interested in obtaining an eternal home? Am I looking at a potential spouse as a faithful marraige partner that aligns with God's will? God will guide you if you let Him. We should live to please God, not trying to earn his favor. We can't. It's a gift. In Ephesians 2:8-9 it is written For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up Swantalelf to You, asking for Your healing, guidance, and comfort. Help them to see their immense value and purpose in Your eyes. Grant them the strength to forgive those who have hurt them, and give them the wisdom to navigate their relationships in a way that honors You. Help them not live a life of feeling longer alone; travel the path of life with you Father. Bring Christian brothers and sisters in their life and let they and Swan focus on your words in the bible and live to please you. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Amen, Dawn1! Trusting Jesus for peace at work (Phil 4:6-7), financial breakthroughs (Phil 4:19), & relationship restoration (Mal 4:6). Believing for Phaerfard's healing & family support (Matt 7:7). In Jesus' name! 
**Prayer Update!** 
Let's lift up **
