zephyrean
Disciple of Prayer
My Father, my Father, I long to hear your almighty voice. As you know, Father, my head is a constant fog; I can't focus any longer. My Mind is under constant attack by the enemy, and I feel like I struggle in my prayer life with You. My Soul is in constant pain, Father, and it is distorting my perception of everything. I am like a candle which wick has deformed at the tip and is choking the flame. What power do I have over the Mind, Father, when I am suffocating and halfway in coma. We both know that Satan has seeded his arrogance and toxicity into the Soul, hijacking him and trying to accuse me of his rotten wickedness that is warring against you in the depths of my unconscious awareness. I do of course not approve of this, as you already know Father. I just wish you would show me the way through which You will intervene, that you may conquer Satan from within. I realise I am in a very bad condition because of his works, to the point where I cannot think clearly. My Lord, is there any way through for You to reach me? I know Satan is desperate to make think I have to "wait" for something, only to put me in an idle position, while he continues to make things worse. But I will of course never cease praying, Father. I just hope that You will choose to pierce Your way into me by Your own account. I need you desperately, Father, regardless of what Satan is making the Soul claim. I take no part in that nastyful wickedness. But I acknowledge that it is there, and I am calling on you to conquer it. "Then what?" Satan utters in a bitter tone, pretending to be Your voice, in an attempt to deceive me into thinking that you are unwilling to reach for me. "You going to be running around like a happy child with free will, who I cannot oppress and control, while pretending to be your God, who appearently knows what is best for you?" And as you see Father, the attacks continue in my subconscious awareness, even as I write and pray, creating barriers and obstructions, as the Soul continues to believe that he does not deserve to be saved; that having free will is an error (because Satan cannot control it); and that I need to accept the oppression and endure until death, only to die with an unsaved Soul. So I beg You, Father, please drill Your way in to me. Thrust open all doors. Force Your will upon my Mind and the Soul. Break through. Burst in. Blow the winds of rightousness and justice upon me. Enter me, Lord. Take me over, Father. Burn out Satan and leave no impurities left. And I plead the blood of the lamb over these words, by the covenant of the cross.
