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Anonymous seeks healing, protection, and justice.
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Anonymous
Beloved of All
Lord, please protect me from the abusers in my family. They like to use your word to manipulate and control us and others. It feels like they mock You Lord, since they preach about how You support how badly they abuse us because they are loved publicly....while we lived abused, also because they get away with it and all they have to do is use Bible verses, Your word for their own benefit. They wear a mask in public and behind closed doors is all about harming the women in the family, controlling them, making them insecure, destroying them, hurting them, and so much more. My whole body hurts, my heart hurts, I am emotionally and mentally tired. I have fought for so long and I feel stuck at times because I can't seem to leave this abusive environment. Everyone believes the abuser's public masks. They use me as their scapegoat. They also don't want me to work....or leave, or get married or even go out to the movies or anything. I can't handle this abuse any longer. The more I speak up the more they beat me down to silence me and make it seem like I am lying or that I am evil. I can't take these false preachers, family members, any longer. I am so done Lord. I feel finished at times. Please open the right doors for me to be able to leave this horrible environment. I am in my 30s and have not been able to develop my life because they keep me tied up in every way.... I should be independent, working, maybe even have my own lovely family with a wonderful man who loves and worships you and truly lives to bring glory to your name every day. "You shouldn't speak and you shouldn't think" is what they say, "God will punish you if you don't let me do this to you", "It's your fault as to why I abuse you", "You should be obedient to me, that is your only role and purpose", " Of course you must obey God but to obey Him you have to obey me or you will die soon, trust me", "If I can't control your friends then they aren't your friends, they should be obedient to me and live to please me, and since they don't they don't love you", "You suffer because you try to protect others from me when I am not the bad guy, you are, you are wrong, God says to obey, this is why women end up getting abused or killed, you literally ask for it.", "You will never get married because you are too ugly and don't listen to me, why do you want to leave? You belong to me, I raised you, God made you for me and you should not live your life until I die. You need to live for me.", "Don't look feminine, you need to look masculine or else you are a whore.", "The Bible says this.... so you need to obey, you are so evil for not letting me do this to you anymore. Women should obey and stay quiet." etc. Please help me Lord, I know you got this. Please, don't let people believe their lies and masks anymore. Let people see the truth. Surround me with good people who care about me, support me, who don't try to separate me from you or use my relationship with you to control me and abuse me. People who won't believe my abusers and will protect me, support me. Please, may I find the right job, apartment, and location to live in and may I be able to take my cat with me...you know what my abusers will do to her if I am not there to protect her. My cat is the only family member I can trust right now, I will never leave her behind...with them. I call out to you Lord, in tears, hurt, pain, tired, in desperationand in hope and trust of your word and protection from abusers and false preachers. Please open doors for me Lord. Give me the wisdom, the courage and the strength to take those opportunities when they present themselves to me so I can get out of this horrible environment and finally find fellowship with good people, finally have freedom from my abusers and start my life. I want to bring you glory in everything I do, let this be one of those things. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
