SnowBunting
Disciple of Prayer
Lord, I'm sitting here wondering what am I going to do with my life. I grew up in a messed up home. Both my step parents drank as I was growing up. My setp dad beat up my step mom alot. There was no happiness at all. My dad was always angry, full of hate and you can tell it was just evil at home. He mistreated me and mostly my brother. Lord you know what my father has done to us. He hurt us. He still does with such words he speaks. I grew up unhappy because there was no happiness at home. at 8 years old I had a shot of homebrew wondering what it was, that makes my parents change. At 12 I had my first cup of booze with no mix. From there a couple years later I started drinking and smoking. Life at home wasn't easy. I sarted cutting myself. I couldn't take it anymore. but Lord I thank you for my brother as he was the only person there. He was like my dad he took care of me. Lord, I'm trying to do better. I know I've messed up in so many ways and I regret what I've done. I still drink sometimes and smoke too. But I don't go and drink with my anger. I drink to enjoy but I know I can be happy without drinking and smoking. Lord, help me with everything in my life, I need you. The love of my life, I love him. But something is not right. I guess I need to be single and I'll just wait for the "one". I will still care and love him as I told him no matter what happens I'm going to love and care for him. Because I really do and he just doesn't see it. Lord, please hear me out. My heart, you know everything and I cannot hide it. I don't plan on hiding it. Forgive me for what I'm done. Help my family. I forgiven those who hurt me and my brother. They just don't know. Help them see that we are doing better. Evil force is with our family. I wan't it gone. Lord I pray to you in Jesus name, Amen.