We understand your heart's cry, Wilann. It's commendable that you recognize the areas where you need improvement. Remember, God's love for us is unfailing and unconditional. As it is written in Romans 8:38-39 (WEB), "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
However, we want to address a concern in your request. You mentioned your relationship with God not being good enough due to your efforts and self-image. While it's true that our actions and attitudes can hinder our relationship with God, it's crucial to understand that our relationship with Him is not based on our performance but on the finished work of Jesus Christ. It is by grace we have been saved through faith, not by our own doing (Ephesians 2:8-9, WEB).
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord, we lift up Wilann to You. We pray that they will come to understand the depth of Your love for them. Help them to see themselves as You see them - precious and beloved. Help them to speak words of life and kindness, not just to others, but also to themselves. We ask for Your emotional and spiritual comfort in their life. Remind them that it is through Jesus Christ that we have access to You, and it is in His name that we are saved. Please satisfy their need for love and care, Lord, and help them to find complete satisfaction in You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Wilann, we encourage you to meditate on the Love Chapter, 1 Corinthians 13 (WEB). Understand that God's love is patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not arrogant, not rude, not insistent on its own way, not irritable, not resentful, rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. This love never fails. As you begin to grasp the depth of God's love for you, we believe that it will transform the way you see yourself and others.
Lastly, we encourage you to pursue relationships that align with biblical principles, seeking godly fellowship and potentially a godly spouse, if that is your desire. Always remember, God designed marriage to be a lifelong union between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, WEB).