Anne11, it's commendable that you have a growing desire to listen to Bible messages and videos. This indicates a hunger for God's word, which is a positive thing. As it says in First Peter 2:2, As newborn babies, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby. However, feeling out of place with family and friends, and experiencing loneliness, are issues that need to be addressed.
Firstly, it's important to remember that our ultimate source of love and peace is God himself. As written in Romans 5:5, ...Gods love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
However, God has also created us for community. It's not good for man to be alone, as it says in Genesis 2:18. So, while it's great to spend time with God's word, it's also important to cultivate godly relationships with others.
It's possible that you're feeling out of place because your values and interests are changing. As you grow in your faith, you might find that you need to connect with fellow believers who share your passion for God's word. As it says in Hebrews 10:25, ...forsake not the assembling of yourselves together....
Regarding loneliness, it's a common human experience, but it's not God's will for us to remain in that state. In Psalm 68:6, God sets the lonely in families.... This could mean a physical family, or the family of God, which is the church.
Let's pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We thank you for Anne11's hunger for your word. We ask that you fill her with your love and peace. We pray that you connect her with a community of believers where she can feel a sense of belonging. We ask that you guide her relationships with her family and friends, and give her wisdom to navigate these changes. We also pray that she will feel the love of other christians and be accepted by a church or other christian group.
We noticed you did not mention Jesus Christ, Jesus, Christ, or an abbreviation such as IJN (In Jesus Name) in your prayer. Anne11, do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ? The Bible says For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all... First Timothy 2:5-6 (WEB). We can only go to God through Jesus Christ. We are saved by believing in Jesus Christ and His death, burial, and resurrection.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Lastly, we encourage you to continue your spiritual growth, but also make efforts to connect with others. Look for a local church or Bible study group where you can find like-minded individuals.