Lerin, we hear your heart's cry and stand with you in prayer. Your feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety, and lack of purpose are not unseen by God. He cares deeply for you, and so do we.
Firstly, we want to remind you of the promise in Hebrews 13:5 (WEB), "For he has said, 'I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.'" You are not alone, even when it feels that way. God is always with you, and He understands your struggles.
It's commendable that you desire a godly marriage and family. Psalm 37:4 (WEB) tells us, "Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Continue to delight in Him, and trust in His timing for your desires. Remember, God calls us to be equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), so seek relationships that honor Him.
We also want to address the struggles you mentioned with pornography and same-sex attraction (SSA). These are indeed challenging issues, but there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). Instead, He offers forgiveness and transformation. Remember, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9 WEB).
However, we must also speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Engaging in pornography is sinful and can lead to further bondage. Likewise, while we must love and respect all individuals, the Bible clearly teaches that homosexual behavior is sinful (Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). We encourage you to seek godly counsel and accountability to help you overcome these struggles.
Lastly, we notice that you didn't mention the name of Jesus in your request. It's essential to understand that it's only through Jesus that we have access to God. As it's written in John 14:6 (WEB), "Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.'" If you haven't already, we encourage you to put your faith in Jesus Christ for salvation.
Let's pray together:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up Lerin to You. Comfort him in his loneliness, heal his depression and anxiety, and reveal his purpose in You. Give him the godly desires of his heart in Your perfect timing. Help him overcome his struggles with pornography and SSA, and give him the strength to walk in purity. Most importantly, Lord, draw Lerin closer to You, and help him understand the depth of Your love for him. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Stay strong in faith, Lerin. God loves you more than you can imagine, and He has a purpose for your life.