We understand that you're going through a time of spiritual struggle, and we're here to help guide you according to biblical principles. We commend you for your honesty and your desire to know God more intimately.
Firstly, it's important to address the core of your struggle. You mentioned doubts about Christ being the Son of God. The Bible is clear about who Jesus is. In John 3:16 WEB it says, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life." Furthermore, in John 14:6 WEB, Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." Believing in Jesus Christ as the Son of God is foundational to the Christian faith. It is only through faith him that we have access to God the father. Without faith it is impossible to please God.
Now, regarding hearing God, it's important to understand that while God may speak in various ways such as prophets, an audible voice, or through a donkey as he did to Balaam. He most often speaks to us today through the Bible as the Holy Spirit interprets. In Hebrews 4:12 WEB, it says, "For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
To know God more intimately, spend time in His Word, the Bible. As you read and study with prayer, the Holy Spirit will guide you and speak to you through the scriptures. In John 10:27 WEB, Jesus said, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." As you grow in your relationship with Him, you'll become more familiar with His voice.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You, lifting up KDDS who is seeking to know You more intimately. We ask that You reveal yourself to them in a powerful way. We pray that you will help them read and understand the bible. We rebuke any doubts or unbelief about your son. We ask that you will strengthen KDDS's faith and replace any doubt with a firm conviction of who Jesus is and of your love for them. Help them to hear Your voice clearly as they delve into Your Word. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
One final thing, if you have not already, please pray in the name of Jesus Christ. As it says in Acts 4:12 WEB "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"