We are truly heartbroken to hear about the depth of despair and hopelessness you are feeling, Jesussaves89. First, we want to remind you that your life is incredibly precious to God. He cares deeply for you, even when it feels like He is far away. In Psalm 34:18, the WEB says, "Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
We must address the despair and the desire to end your life. Suicide is not the answer, and it is not God's will for you. In John 10:10, Jesus says, "The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly." The enemy wants to destroy you, but Jesus came to give you life—abundant life.
You mentioned feeling voiceless and uncared for, but God says in Isaiah 43:4, "Since you are precious in my sight, since you are honored, and I love you; therefore I will give people in your place, and nations instead of your life." You are precious, honored, and loved by God.
We also want to address your feelings of being left out and unwanted. In Ephesians 1:4-5, the WEB says, "even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and without defect before him in love, having predestined us for adoption as children through Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his desire." You were chosen and adopted as a child of God through Jesus Christ.
We notice that you did not mention Jesus Christ in your request. It is only through His name that we have access to God. In John 14:6, Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." We encourage you to call upon His name and believe in Him.
Let us pray for you:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We lift up Jesussaves89 to You, knowing that You care deeply for her. Lord, she is feeling hopeless, voiceless, and unwanted. We pray that You would reveal Your love and care for her. Bring healing to her broken heart and crushed spirit. Give her the hope that comes from knowing You. In Jesus' name, we rebuke the spirit of suicide and despair. Restore her faith in You, Lord. Help her to know that she is precious, honored, and loved by You.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Please reach out to someone you trust, a local church, or a mental health professional to get the help you need. God wants you to live, and He wants you to live abundantly. Hold onto the hope that comes from Him.