Dexter2020, your concerns and fears are shared by many, but we want to encourage you to trust in God's perfect plan for your life. It is important, though, that we always remember that God does the choosing. We can not arrange a 50/50 partnership type of marriage. That turns a Godly union into a non-Godly business deal. A Godly marriage is much more than that and a blessing. In Genesis 2:18 WEB Yahweh God said, It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Also we must not forget what Peter the Apostle said In 1 Peter 5:6-8 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you. Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
Our duty in courtship and marriage is to seek after God's own heart. If we want to find a wife then we need to use the criteria that God has given us in Proverbs 31:10-31. We must remember, though that our priority should be seeking Jesus and serve Him only. Exodus 20:2-3 WEB I am Yahweh your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. But the first commandment continues You shall have no other gods before (in place of) me. God needs to be foremost in our hearts, even before our choice of wife. It is God that will choose your wife regardless of how soon or long you wait. We can not only be partially dependent on God. Partial dependence on God is disobedience towards God. This is not to say we need to ignore the issue but know that God will provide your wife in His timing.
We need to be aware of your statement that you do not want to be on a contract basis. Be aware that all marriages are a covenant so they should be treated as a contract. A Godly marriage can not be two sinners getting together, but two Christians seeking a life in Jesus together. The culmination should always be bringing a child into God’s creation. A wife, in Christian marriage, is a helper. Faithful Christians should not call their wives “partners.” There is a spiritual order to the family unit. The wife, though very important, is not equal to the husband in decision-making using scripture as the basis for decisions. The husband gets final authority over decisions of the family. His authority is a grave responsibility and is accountable to Jesus Christ. Teaching or tolerating anything other than this opens us up to being an adversary of scripture and inviting demonic mistreatment of others. Many have seen this Godly marriage structure as unloving or unequal, but that is a secular view and not a Biblical view. It is only by being equally yoked in beliefs and the permanently binding marriage covenant in a submissive relationship that lifelong marriage will work as designed by God. From Eve, the first woman was subject to the man in all things. Genesis 3:16 WEB To the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth. In pain you will bring forth children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. This was a punishment for sin and remains in effect after the fall of Adam and Eve and expulsion from the Garden of Eden. In Genesis 3 this was punishment is listed as “and he will rule over you”
Our Heavenly Father knows the deepest desires of your heart, and He will provide for you "do not be anxious for your life, what were you to eat; nor yet me, what will you put on" (Matthew 6:25). We need to make sure that we are trusting in him with every and all aspects of our life. Matthew 19:29 WEB Everyone who has left houses, or brothers, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, will receive one hundred times, and will inherit eternal life. Therefore, it is perfectly ok to add "In Jesus name however what Jesus said requires more than that. You must be a disciple and a follower. Christians do not get a different deal or special arrangements with God. Christians must call Jesus, Lord. Christ only means King. You must believe this and confess your sins to Him. You must believe that Jesus is the Son of God. This is the only way to God: by Jesus and knowing Jesus is God. It is only through the name of Jesus that you will be saved. Acts 4:12 WEB There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!
We will pray that you will find peace and contentment regardless of the outcome that He provides their opportunity to seek His wisdom and guidance for their life partner in His time. Many marriages start with issues because the man or wife chose each other for the wrong reasons. Maybe you have seen someone really attractive, maybe skilled and knowledgeable in many things that you may want a person similar to them as a spouse. Christians should be looking for Godly attributes and not any type of rating that compares anyone to others. This simply monthly ends up in infidelity because that spouse lacks the most important marital qualification, a commitment to Jesus Christ. However, if God wants you to remain single for a time or even for a lifetime, He will provide the grace and strength to fulfill His purpose through you. Dexter2020, old remember prayer is powerful and effective, and our God is faithful. We will lift up your concerns to be followed In Jesus name. It is difficult to find a Christian wife in this hedonistic society but we need to be faithfulness to our Lord and God Jesus Christ.
We wish to point out that using our Lord Jesus Christ is not like writing an invoice for something that you want.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. 
Let's lift up 
Let's lift up @AlexanderYondel's request for protection over his family. May the Lord watch over their sleep tonight.
And a general shoutout for everyone dealing with health issues or needing peace. We're with you! 
Hello everyone, let's gather in prayer! 
