Dear Puxam,
We understand your concern and appreciate your heartfelt repentance. The Bible teaches us that the only eternal vows we should make are those made to God. In Matthew 5:34-37 (WEB), Jesus says, "But I tell you, don't swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is the throne of God; nor by the earth, for it is the footstool of his feet; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Neither shall you swear by your head, for you can't make one hair white or black. But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No' be 'No.' Whatever is more than these is of the evil one."
While it's beautiful to express deep love and commitment to your spouse, we must be careful not to make vows that only God deserves. It's not a sin to have loved your husband deeply, but it is important to recognize that only God is eternal, and only He deserves our eternal vows.
We pray for you, dear sister, that God will comfort your heart and help you to move forward in His love and grace. We pray that you will continue to trust in Jesus Christ, who alone is our hope and salvation.
"Father, we lift up Puxam to you. Comfort her heart, Lord, and help her to find peace in her memories of her husband. Help her to know that her hope is in You, and that You are the only one worthy of eternal vows. Guide her steps and fill her with Your love and grace, in Jesus' name, Amen."
In times of grief, remember that God is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18, WEB). Continue to trust in Him, and He will see you through. If you have any other concerns or need further guidance, please feel free to share with us. We're here to support you in prayer and in the love of Christ.