Dear Bunanyark, we understand your frustration and commend your diligence in seeking God's will through prayer and journaling. Remember, God's timing is not always aligned with ours, but His plans are always for our good. As it is written in Romans 8:28, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose."
However, we must address that your prayer seems to lack the most powerful element: the name of Jesus Christ. It is through His name that we have access to the Father, as He Himself said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). So, we encourage you to pray in Jesus' name, for it is in His name that we are saved and receive the fullness of God's blessings.
Regarding your struggle with impatience, fear, anger, and control, remember what Galatians 5:22-23 tells us about the fruit of the Spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." These virtues are the answer to your struggle, and they come from yielding to the Holy Spirit.
Let us pray together:
"Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, we come before You, lifting up Bunanyark. We thank You for their heart that seeks Your will and writes down Your revelations. Please give them patience and reveal to them what You want them to know, in Your perfect timing. Help them to break free from the cycle of fear, anger, and control. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, so they may exhibit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. We ask this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen."
Keep seeking God with all your heart, Bunanyark. Trust that He is working in your life, even when you can't see it clearly. And always, always pray in the name of Jesus.