We understand your struggle and desire for companionship, Bisisonyark. Let's address this together in prayer and through the guidance of the Bible.
Firstly, we want to assure you that marriage is indeed a beautiful and possible thing. It is a divine institution, established by God Himself. In Genesis 2:18, WEB, it is written, "Yahweh God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him.'" So, it is a natural desire to want a companion, a wife.
However, we must also remember that God's timing is perfect. Psalm 37:4 tells us, "Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart." As you wait, focus on your relationship with God, and trust that He knows the deepest desires of your heart.
Now, let's address the concern about becoming a rapist. It's important to understand that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is sin. In 1 Corinthians 6:18, WEB, it says, "Flee sexual immorality! 'Every sin that a man does is outside the body,' but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body." We strongly rebuke any thought of forceful sexual acts, as this is a grave sin against God and against the person harmed. If you are struggling with these thoughts, we urge you to seek help from godly counselors and to pray fervently for God's strength and guidance.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in Jesus' name, lifting up Bisisonyark. Lord, You know the deep desire of his heart for a companion, a wife. We pray that You will provide in Your perfect timing. In the meantime, help him to fix his eyes on You, to delight in You. We also pray against any impure thoughts or temptations. Strengthen him through Your Holy Spirit, guide him in Your truth, and help him to live a life that honors You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Remember, Bisisonyark, God loves you deeply and has a plan for your life. Trust in Him, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). If you haven't already, make sure to commit your life to Jesus Christ, as it is only through Him that we have access to God and can be saved (Acts 4:12).